I am pleased to say that my moods have pretty much normalized after having a bad weekend last weekend- I just felt very out of control of my emotions. Depressed, moody, and a very low self-esteem. I think that was my body adjusting to the new thyroid medication and I feel much better now and look forward to my blood work in a few weeks.
In the meantime, I have been really busy at work and although I am quite good at what I do and I feel like it makes a difference for the individuals that I help, but sometimes it feels a little lost in the grand scheme of things and I wonder if my "real" calling will reveal myself. I have been clocking a lot of overtime, which I hope to be able to stop soon- but it is hard for me since there is no one else in my department to fall back on. On the one hand, I know that once my body is ready for us to try again, that my stress should be as low as possible, it is hard to reduce it when I am fighting through all of the work alone.
So, in the meantime, I am doing my best to distract myself with real life and really enjoy it. Sometimes easier said than done for me, as I always weigh myself down with needing to have accomplished things to feel good about myself. I am not 100% sure where it comes from, but it is something that I have always had.
Here is to letting go on this hot Saturday in the Schland.