For a long time, I thought I would become a doctor. Coming from a family of medical personnel, it seemed doable. Until I had high school chemistry. Which I hated.
Then, I thought I could become a writer. But, then I realized that the world is full of writers and that it is very hard to make a living as a writer.
So, I decided to do what I was good at, and studied languages.
Since I didn't want to be a translator, I got an MBA and went into marketing.
It turns out that marketing managers often aren't nice people and I have trouble caring about selling stuff that helps no one and in fact could hurt people. So, I transferred to HR.
For awhile, I thought I was helping people because I could help them get answers and lend an open ears in time of stress, etc. For awhile before my leave, it felt like I started to drown in nonsense. Like we no longer treated people as capable adults. We also added so many processes that our processes have processes.
To add insult to injury, the strategic projects that I was in charge of before are now gone since my replacement wasn't qualified to do them. And now, since my boss is having trouble getting meaningful work for herself as well, which understandably means that most meaningful work she keeps for herself.
In a nutshell: I am bored and I feel like 85% of what I do is meaningless and treats my "customers" like they are utter idiots. It is hard.
A part of me feels like my inner hippie needs out- in reality I see myself as a darn crunchy mom and friend who would love to do something where it would matter if I didn't do it- something where I am actually helping and / or writing- doing something more freely.
If only it weren't for those pesky student loans that I probably have 10 years or more left to pay back on. Or maybe, just maybe, I can do both. It would be a lot of work, trying to write enough on the side, but who knows- maybe I would finally feel like I am what I should be, now that I am a grownup.
In the meantime I am trying my best not to let the stress of work get to me and put off the feeling that my cells are slowly bonding with my outdated desk as I sit away my days- at least I earn a good wage (and I am grateful for what it provides us!)- but sometimes things get so ridiculous and nonsensical that I want to run away screaming.
Writing instead seems to be helping for now, at least.
Showing posts with label work life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work life. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Oh, hey.
So...um...awkward silence?
I would apologize for writing, but the truth is, I am not sorry. Turns out I needed the time to come more fully into my role as a mother and enjoy our little family oasis before starting work again in February 2015.
Now, I feel like I can write again- but where to start?
With the little one, of course!
Luckily, we are all doing well. Shrimpy still has her undefined form of Epilepsy but had her last petit mal in October of 2014 and her last grand mal in April of 2014. She has myoclonic seizures at times, but they haven't influenced her in any way other than being a pain since she gets them in that in-between falling asleep phase (imagine a whole body jerk- like those that everyone has at some times, but with 50 in 30 minutes- that is how we knew they were epileptic). She doesn't seem to have any other type, and we have her down to 2 medications and want to see if we can get her to 1 medication this year if possible.
Her development is right on track if not a little ahead, which we are over the moon about. Her head circumference is a little on the small side, but it isn't noticeable. There could be a connection between that and her Epilepsy, but it is hard to tell. She has been walking since the end of February, which is also when she self-weaned (probably because I started work at the beginning of February and my daughter doesn't like to expend too much energy if she doesn't have to). Her vocabulary has been growing in leaps and bounds in both languages and she has been to the US twice now. She is sweet and funny and stubborn and curious and I love her so. We got our first choice for her daycare and she runs in without saying goodbye. It is awesome and pulls on the heartstrings a little too. She runs towards us giggling when we pick her up though, which totally rocks.
What else?
Broom and I are great. Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in September, which is just crazy. Life gets hectic every once and awhile and we have to remember to take time for one another- but I think many couples have that. We moved in April due to mold in our old apartment and our new one is definitely much bigger and nicer- two floors and lots of space for when we decide to end Shrimpy's status as an only child. That project should be starting soon- and the plan is for Broom to carry! We found a naturally-oriented gyno who I really like, and I hope she feels the same way. The gyno has agreed to help us all that she can in our future child making endeavors.
Going back to work has been anti-climactic. My job was adjusted for the woman who replaced me and since she was less qualified than me, a lot of tasks are gone and I am quite honestly, bored (I am aware that that sounds like I am putting myself on a pedestal, but it is very much a different job). I am working on getting them back and also applying when new jobs come up. We will see where it takes me. All in all, the transition has been ok though. Do I wish that my job was stimulating and fulfilling so that I didn't feel like the cells in my body are turning into the same material as my outdated desk? Sure. But I know I am damn lucky to have a job, and it makes a lot of things possible for us which I am grateful for.
I would apologize for writing, but the truth is, I am not sorry. Turns out I needed the time to come more fully into my role as a mother and enjoy our little family oasis before starting work again in February 2015.
Now, I feel like I can write again- but where to start?
With the little one, of course!
Luckily, we are all doing well. Shrimpy still has her undefined form of Epilepsy but had her last petit mal in October of 2014 and her last grand mal in April of 2014. She has myoclonic seizures at times, but they haven't influenced her in any way other than being a pain since she gets them in that in-between falling asleep phase (imagine a whole body jerk- like those that everyone has at some times, but with 50 in 30 minutes- that is how we knew they were epileptic). She doesn't seem to have any other type, and we have her down to 2 medications and want to see if we can get her to 1 medication this year if possible.
Her development is right on track if not a little ahead, which we are over the moon about. Her head circumference is a little on the small side, but it isn't noticeable. There could be a connection between that and her Epilepsy, but it is hard to tell. She has been walking since the end of February, which is also when she self-weaned (probably because I started work at the beginning of February and my daughter doesn't like to expend too much energy if she doesn't have to). Her vocabulary has been growing in leaps and bounds in both languages and she has been to the US twice now. She is sweet and funny and stubborn and curious and I love her so. We got our first choice for her daycare and she runs in without saying goodbye. It is awesome and pulls on the heartstrings a little too. She runs towards us giggling when we pick her up though, which totally rocks.
What else?
Broom and I are great. Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in September, which is just crazy. Life gets hectic every once and awhile and we have to remember to take time for one another- but I think many couples have that. We moved in April due to mold in our old apartment and our new one is definitely much bigger and nicer- two floors and lots of space for when we decide to end Shrimpy's status as an only child. That project should be starting soon- and the plan is for Broom to carry! We found a naturally-oriented gyno who I really like, and I hope she feels the same way. The gyno has agreed to help us all that she can in our future child making endeavors.
Going back to work has been anti-climactic. My job was adjusted for the woman who replaced me and since she was less qualified than me, a lot of tasks are gone and I am quite honestly, bored (I am aware that that sounds like I am putting myself on a pedestal, but it is very much a different job). I am working on getting them back and also applying when new jobs come up. We will see where it takes me. All in all, the transition has been ok though. Do I wish that my job was stimulating and fulfilling so that I didn't feel like the cells in my body are turning into the same material as my outdated desk? Sure. But I know I am damn lucky to have a job, and it makes a lot of things possible for us which I am grateful for.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
And then I had my last day at work for a year...
...Germany has a lot of interesting programs, including awesome parental leave. I saved two weeks of my (cough, 30 days) of vacation to take before the almost mandatory off-time for moms 6 weeks before the due date, and 8 weeks after. After this time ends, there is a somewhat-complicated program where the parents can take time off. I am taking 12 months, and Broom is taking 2. We still get between 65 and 67% of our previous salaries, which makes this feasible. Exciting and weird to be off for so long, although I am proud to say that I didn't have a problem leaving work behind.
The first week off, I had doctor's appointments and then we went away to the Baltic Sea for 4 nights, which was loverly. Daily walks on the beach and bubble baths were just the thing! I do notice though, that baby is in "start" position with his or her head already quite low in my pelvis. The daily movement has been good though.
Currently, I am working on sewing cloth baby wipes and burp cloths (my MIL is dating a laundromat owner, so we had waaay too many towels, so I cut them up based on our needs and am just finishing the edges). Other projects I want to do are: a blanket / duvet for the stroller, a collage out of cloth for Shrimpy's room, and a cover for the changing table extender we are making.
Feeling like things are coming together, but will feel better once everything is as in order as it can be (including the mountains of paperwork we are going to have to do since we don't have all rights and the whole bi national issue, *sigh*).
From the health perspective, it looks like the gestational diabetes thing really was just a fluke. I still have to test sporadically for the next 2-3 weeks, but everything has been fine. My gyno thought I might have a UTI, but didn't say anything since I brought in morning urine, so I would guess that things are fine there. She just said last time that she wants to use the fetal heartbeat monitor every two weeks starting next week, and I was too much in a tizzy to ask why, so I am going to do so and am thinking of declining since baby doesn't like being monitored. Also, she now seems worried about the polyp-y thing on my cervix, although she already said it shouldn't pose any problems for birth. She talked about sending me to a specialist/asking a colleague for advice.
Needless to say, this was one of those visits where I got overwhelmed and didn't ask enough questions here, so I wrote them down for next time. As far as I am concerned, as long as my cervix can still open, I am still planning to go to the birthing house (and the midwives are super-calm). If she is concerned about it being cancerous, then she should swab it for testing, and we can deal with the results after Shrimpy is here if we have to. I told my mom about me being a little worried that that was what she was getting at, and she waved it away (surprise!), so we will see.
I will probably run everything past my midwife before my gyno appointment and go from there.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating tomorrow!
The first week off, I had doctor's appointments and then we went away to the Baltic Sea for 4 nights, which was loverly. Daily walks on the beach and bubble baths were just the thing! I do notice though, that baby is in "start" position with his or her head already quite low in my pelvis. The daily movement has been good though.
Currently, I am working on sewing cloth baby wipes and burp cloths (my MIL is dating a laundromat owner, so we had waaay too many towels, so I cut them up based on our needs and am just finishing the edges). Other projects I want to do are: a blanket / duvet for the stroller, a collage out of cloth for Shrimpy's room, and a cover for the changing table extender we are making.
Feeling like things are coming together, but will feel better once everything is as in order as it can be (including the mountains of paperwork we are going to have to do since we don't have all rights and the whole bi national issue, *sigh*).
From the health perspective, it looks like the gestational diabetes thing really was just a fluke. I still have to test sporadically for the next 2-3 weeks, but everything has been fine. My gyno thought I might have a UTI, but didn't say anything since I brought in morning urine, so I would guess that things are fine there. She just said last time that she wants to use the fetal heartbeat monitor every two weeks starting next week, and I was too much in a tizzy to ask why, so I am going to do so and am thinking of declining since baby doesn't like being monitored. Also, she now seems worried about the polyp-y thing on my cervix, although she already said it shouldn't pose any problems for birth. She talked about sending me to a specialist/asking a colleague for advice.
Needless to say, this was one of those visits where I got overwhelmed and didn't ask enough questions here, so I wrote them down for next time. As far as I am concerned, as long as my cervix can still open, I am still planning to go to the birthing house (and the midwives are super-calm). If she is concerned about it being cancerous, then she should swab it for testing, and we can deal with the results after Shrimpy is here if we have to. I told my mom about me being a little worried that that was what she was getting at, and she waved it away (surprise!), so we will see.
I will probably run everything past my midwife before my gyno appointment and go from there.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating tomorrow!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Tempus Fugit
I am so thoroughly in the moment and enjoying being pregnant, that every time I think of blogging, I think that it hasn't been "that long" and then I see that another month has flown by.
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Back to the grind & TMI pregnancy symptoms
So, I've been back at work for about a week and a half now- and I have heard nothing but congratulations and questions about how I am doing, etc. Some people might be avoiding me (but it is hard to tell), but if so, then at least if there has been anything, it's been really subtle. So, all in all, I am a lucky woman!
It is hard to believe that I only have a bit more to go- November will be here, and I will be on maternity leave before I know it! Hopefully, the person we made an offer to regarding being my replacement will sign and that I will be one less worry- as they would start in September, giving me plenty of time to get someone up to speed. Once that happens, I can breathe a little more easily.
Now that I am home, Broom and I are purging a bunch of stuff and gradually trying to work on Shrimpy's room- once we have more space in the room, I will feel a whole lot better! Luckily, I am not worrying too much about it- yet.
Excitingly, our midwife appointment on Friday went swimmingly, and every time I have felt the need to hear the heartbeat for a little bit, I have been able to find it no problem. I am even pretty darn sure I have felt some kicks and moves, and am excited about when they get even more distinctive :) My weight gain has been really gradual, with a total gain (as of Friday) between 3 and 4 kilos.
***Start TMI part (Please skip if not your thing! It is me being completely honest about symptoms!)***
My symptoms are still pretty mild (and I love knowing the why behind them, I find it fascinating), but have included stuff like: dizziness, nausea, fatigue, increased CM & nasal mucous, puffy nipples, headaches, gas, irregular BMs, burping/hiccups, and heartburn. Also, my inner thighs have been hurting like I have been working out (although I hadn't been), but actually working out made that sooo much better. So, many symptoms that are quite common, and a few I had never heard about- but it is all good, as my body is doing what it needs to do!
***End TMI part****
All in all, I am persevering in my mindset that making a baby is a beautiful, beautiful thing- even if some of the symptoms aren't sexy- what we women can do, and how our bodies can grow, stretch, and adapt is just completely mind blowing and amazing, and I am loving this experience. When I look down at my growing bump, I just get so overwhelmed with joy- and Broom and I are really enjoying this time together, which I love! I have just been overcome with a sense of calm and contentedness- I am one very happy Mommy. :)
It is hard to believe that I only have a bit more to go- November will be here, and I will be on maternity leave before I know it! Hopefully, the person we made an offer to regarding being my replacement will sign and that I will be one less worry- as they would start in September, giving me plenty of time to get someone up to speed. Once that happens, I can breathe a little more easily.
Now that I am home, Broom and I are purging a bunch of stuff and gradually trying to work on Shrimpy's room- once we have more space in the room, I will feel a whole lot better! Luckily, I am not worrying too much about it- yet.
Excitingly, our midwife appointment on Friday went swimmingly, and every time I have felt the need to hear the heartbeat for a little bit, I have been able to find it no problem. I am even pretty darn sure I have felt some kicks and moves, and am excited about when they get even more distinctive :) My weight gain has been really gradual, with a total gain (as of Friday) between 3 and 4 kilos.
***Start TMI part (Please skip if not your thing! It is me being completely honest about symptoms!)***
My symptoms are still pretty mild (and I love knowing the why behind them, I find it fascinating), but have included stuff like: dizziness, nausea, fatigue, increased CM & nasal mucous, puffy nipples, headaches, gas, irregular BMs, burping/hiccups, and heartburn. Also, my inner thighs have been hurting like I have been working out (although I hadn't been), but actually working out made that sooo much better. So, many symptoms that are quite common, and a few I had never heard about- but it is all good, as my body is doing what it needs to do!
***End TMI part****
All in all, I am persevering in my mindset that making a baby is a beautiful, beautiful thing- even if some of the symptoms aren't sexy- what we women can do, and how our bodies can grow, stretch, and adapt is just completely mind blowing and amazing, and I am loving this experience. When I look down at my growing bump, I just get so overwhelmed with joy- and Broom and I are really enjoying this time together, which I love! I have just been overcome with a sense of calm and contentedness- I am one very happy Mommy. :)
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Awesomeness all around
Vacation was busy and still relaxing at the same time!
I really loved seeing everyone and spending time with them while sleeping in and just being.
The city that we visited with my mom and sister was really awesome. It has a real European feel, and everything that we are looking for in a place to live: health care, public transportation, culture, and a body of water. It is more expensive than what we are used to now for cost of living, but salaries would be higher too. We will be using materials we gathered to estimate how much we would need to move and how much we would need to earn to make it plausible to live there. If we do decide to go through with it, it is more like a 5+ year plan, but it is good to really consider it- although the coolness of Europe and the proximity to other countries would be really hard to give up.
Spending time in my hometown was great- some friends and I got together and had an excellent evening together, and telling my family about Shrimpy at the reunion was great fun! As sweet as they are, none of them wanted to assume that I was pregnant in case I had just put on weight! Despite the health problems my family is facing (an aunt and uncle of mine are both battling stage 4 cancer, another uncle was in a massive car accident that made him, at least for now, a quadriplegic, and my mom's ex had a bladder blockage that they are currently testing for cancer), we were still a rather upbeat group- and I know that we really support one another in hard times like these.
This week I am at my work's American headquarters and catching up on everything that happened while I was on vacation and working on projects. We are also doing interviews for my position, which is exciting and filled with lots of hope and expectations. There have been a lot of comments made about it being hard to replace me and the value of my position which makes me feel really good.
My coworkers here also threw me an early baby shower (since I won't be back until post baby)! It was something they brought up right after I announced it to them, and I am just overwhelmed by kindness and acceptance. They have given our growing family such thoughtful gifts and I can't wait to show Broom all of the nice things that we have received.
Today I also got to meet up with a good friend of mine and her family for breakfast. My delayed flight on Sunday made that meet-up impossible, but we made breakfast work, and they even picked me up from my hotel and dropped me off at work so that we would have the most time possible to visit with one another. She is also expecting, and we are exactly two weeks apart- it is so lovely to be going though this "together" (at least virtually!) and it was great to see them and catch up- although there is never enough time! (Thank you! And thank you for breakfast!)
I can't wait to get home and back to our apartment, and I can't help but be extremely grateful for everything right now- even with the medical hardships in my family, the network behind us all is amazingly awesome!
I really loved seeing everyone and spending time with them while sleeping in and just being.
The city that we visited with my mom and sister was really awesome. It has a real European feel, and everything that we are looking for in a place to live: health care, public transportation, culture, and a body of water. It is more expensive than what we are used to now for cost of living, but salaries would be higher too. We will be using materials we gathered to estimate how much we would need to move and how much we would need to earn to make it plausible to live there. If we do decide to go through with it, it is more like a 5+ year plan, but it is good to really consider it- although the coolness of Europe and the proximity to other countries would be really hard to give up.
Spending time in my hometown was great- some friends and I got together and had an excellent evening together, and telling my family about Shrimpy at the reunion was great fun! As sweet as they are, none of them wanted to assume that I was pregnant in case I had just put on weight! Despite the health problems my family is facing (an aunt and uncle of mine are both battling stage 4 cancer, another uncle was in a massive car accident that made him, at least for now, a quadriplegic, and my mom's ex had a bladder blockage that they are currently testing for cancer), we were still a rather upbeat group- and I know that we really support one another in hard times like these.
This week I am at my work's American headquarters and catching up on everything that happened while I was on vacation and working on projects. We are also doing interviews for my position, which is exciting and filled with lots of hope and expectations. There have been a lot of comments made about it being hard to replace me and the value of my position which makes me feel really good.
My coworkers here also threw me an early baby shower (since I won't be back until post baby)! It was something they brought up right after I announced it to them, and I am just overwhelmed by kindness and acceptance. They have given our growing family such thoughtful gifts and I can't wait to show Broom all of the nice things that we have received.
Today I also got to meet up with a good friend of mine and her family for breakfast. My delayed flight on Sunday made that meet-up impossible, but we made breakfast work, and they even picked me up from my hotel and dropped me off at work so that we would have the most time possible to visit with one another. She is also expecting, and we are exactly two weeks apart- it is so lovely to be going though this "together" (at least virtually!) and it was great to see them and catch up- although there is never enough time! (Thank you! And thank you for breakfast!)
I can't wait to get home and back to our apartment, and I can't help but be extremely grateful for everything right now- even with the medical hardships in my family, the network behind us all is amazingly awesome!
Saturday, July 13, 2013
VayCay!
So, I have made it through my 4-day training in Chicago!
I am now certified in training adults! A great thing to know/have and for my CV. The days were long, and the prep for the practice and the competency demonstration (which determined if we were certified or not) of course took its time, but I am really proud of myself.
In other work news, they have posted by position and the company helping us with the search has already received 40 applications, 10 of which are qualified. Since we officially started the search, and the timing of this trip was right after the "safer time", I had to pick a group of people to tell via email in order to keep the rumor wild-fire at bay. More than half of the people I sent it to sent congratulatory emails in response, which was a great feeling. When I am at our corporate offices at the end of the month, the US-branch of my department is even throwing me a baby shower! It is so nice to "feel the love" and if anyone has had any inappropriate thoughts regarding how I got pregnant, it hasn't made its way through to me. I am anxious to see if there are any questions surrounding it, but I figure I will just mention that we had medical help, and the rest was the sperm and the egg's doing. All in all, I am bowled over by their support.
In (not really) shocking news, it turns out the longer flights while preggo do not agree with me or Shrimpy, meaning I felt nauseated, dizzy, and generally shitty on the way over here. It was not fun being so miserable the whole time, but my homeopathic remedies at least took the edge off. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the flight back over the pond. I will be avoiding any further flights until Shrimpy is here.
Since I have been sitting in a classroom environment all week, and the hotel has a pool, I have really enjoyed swimming! I know that this isn't surprising either, but it just felt so good to be weightless. I would like to continue swimming once back home, but am still searching for a tankini top (the bottoms I found at Target, with a nice skirt, since I have some nice new stretch marks on my thighs- but the tops they had were not enough as my cup overfloweth- literally).
Tomorrow I am off to explore a city that Broom and I are debating moving to one day. My mom, sister, and her kids are coming along (they are driving up to meet me), so I am excited to see everyone and spend quality time with them all. I am also really looking forward to our upcoming family reunion and telling everyone the happy news!
So, I'm not sure if I will write while on vacation, but if not, I will be sure to let you know how it went once I am back.
Have a nice weekend!
I am now certified in training adults! A great thing to know/have and for my CV. The days were long, and the prep for the practice and the competency demonstration (which determined if we were certified or not) of course took its time, but I am really proud of myself.
In other work news, they have posted by position and the company helping us with the search has already received 40 applications, 10 of which are qualified. Since we officially started the search, and the timing of this trip was right after the "safer time", I had to pick a group of people to tell via email in order to keep the rumor wild-fire at bay. More than half of the people I sent it to sent congratulatory emails in response, which was a great feeling. When I am at our corporate offices at the end of the month, the US-branch of my department is even throwing me a baby shower! It is so nice to "feel the love" and if anyone has had any inappropriate thoughts regarding how I got pregnant, it hasn't made its way through to me. I am anxious to see if there are any questions surrounding it, but I figure I will just mention that we had medical help, and the rest was the sperm and the egg's doing. All in all, I am bowled over by their support.
In (not really) shocking news, it turns out the longer flights while preggo do not agree with me or Shrimpy, meaning I felt nauseated, dizzy, and generally shitty on the way over here. It was not fun being so miserable the whole time, but my homeopathic remedies at least took the edge off. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the flight back over the pond. I will be avoiding any further flights until Shrimpy is here.
Since I have been sitting in a classroom environment all week, and the hotel has a pool, I have really enjoyed swimming! I know that this isn't surprising either, but it just felt so good to be weightless. I would like to continue swimming once back home, but am still searching for a tankini top (the bottoms I found at Target, with a nice skirt, since I have some nice new stretch marks on my thighs- but the tops they had were not enough as my cup overfloweth- literally).
Tomorrow I am off to explore a city that Broom and I are debating moving to one day. My mom, sister, and her kids are coming along (they are driving up to meet me), so I am excited to see everyone and spend quality time with them all. I am also really looking forward to our upcoming family reunion and telling everyone the happy news!
So, I'm not sure if I will write while on vacation, but if not, I will be sure to let you know how it went once I am back.
Have a nice weekend!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
(Almost) Time to leave on a jet plane!
Well, Sunday is the day I go to the US for almost 4 weeks! Crazy!
I am starting out in Chicago for a 1-week training, then we are visiting Toronto to see if we would like living there, and then I am spending time with my family before another 4 days of business at the end. I am excited and scared, and hoping that I feel ok while I am gone and don't catch any bugs.
Luckily, all of my appointments have been going well! They reduced my thyroid meds, and our 1st official ultrasound (the one to confirm the pregnancy doesn't count) went perfectly!
The baby measured the right size, the heart was still beating strongly (we got to hear it over the dr.'s doppler), and since Shrimpy was sleeping- my dr. got him or her to wake up and move.
It was amazing to see those little arms and long legs flail and wave as he/she was surprised awake by the gentle pushes on my belly. I felt a little bad, waking our child up, but it was great to see the movement before he/she settled back down to a more comfortable looking sleeping position (head more or less level with the body rather than feet up in the air). The dr. could even recognize that the baby's digestive system is functioning based on the stomach, and at one point, we saw the brain, too. Completely amazing.
We couldn't be happier that we have reached the 2nd trimester and we are keeping everything crossed that things continue to go well!
Since things did go so well, we went ahead and told Broom's brothers (who, reacted ok- a little weirdly, but ok), as well as my big bosses at work. Apparently, based on the meeting invites, they thought I was going to quit and were freaking out. One was surprised, the other relieved. It is nice to have it out now, and we will begin looking for my replacement any day now.
It is still hitting Broom and I that having this baby means coming out to even more people, over and over again. At least, so far, reactions haven't been bad, and Broom's mom seems to be really excited now, which is a little scary and nice at the same time. Babies do sometimes make people easier to relate to, so we will see.
Now, off to see if I can figure out how to shimmy my legs into the really serious thigh-high compression stockings I bought...
I am starting out in Chicago for a 1-week training, then we are visiting Toronto to see if we would like living there, and then I am spending time with my family before another 4 days of business at the end. I am excited and scared, and hoping that I feel ok while I am gone and don't catch any bugs.
Luckily, all of my appointments have been going well! They reduced my thyroid meds, and our 1st official ultrasound (the one to confirm the pregnancy doesn't count) went perfectly!
The baby measured the right size, the heart was still beating strongly (we got to hear it over the dr.'s doppler), and since Shrimpy was sleeping- my dr. got him or her to wake up and move.
It was amazing to see those little arms and long legs flail and wave as he/she was surprised awake by the gentle pushes on my belly. I felt a little bad, waking our child up, but it was great to see the movement before he/she settled back down to a more comfortable looking sleeping position (head more or less level with the body rather than feet up in the air). The dr. could even recognize that the baby's digestive system is functioning based on the stomach, and at one point, we saw the brain, too. Completely amazing.
We couldn't be happier that we have reached the 2nd trimester and we are keeping everything crossed that things continue to go well!
Since things did go so well, we went ahead and told Broom's brothers (who, reacted ok- a little weirdly, but ok), as well as my big bosses at work. Apparently, based on the meeting invites, they thought I was going to quit and were freaking out. One was surprised, the other relieved. It is nice to have it out now, and we will begin looking for my replacement any day now.
It is still hitting Broom and I that having this baby means coming out to even more people, over and over again. At least, so far, reactions haven't been bad, and Broom's mom seems to be really excited now, which is a little scary and nice at the same time. Babies do sometimes make people easier to relate to, so we will see.
Now, off to see if I can figure out how to shimmy my legs into the really serious thigh-high compression stockings I bought...
Friday, June 14, 2013
Impulse Buy
All in all, this week has been lovely.
Somehow slow, but with nice events accenting the week.
On Monday, I was off sick as I had tooth pain from Saturday onwards that got progressively worse, but I was able to get in to see my dentist, who discovered a cavity. I hadn't really had anything but checkups with her before, so I didn't know how un-informative and cruel she is. NO information about what she was doing (unannounced drilling, anyone?) and didn't really tell me what she did- but at least I can see that she filled a cavity. After she checks on her work in two weeks, I will be getting a new dentist. I'm done with insensitive doctors!
I spent my day off sleeping, relaxing, and spending time with myself. I think I needed it more than I thought.
My workweek was fine, and I decided that I couldn't continue keeping my awesome boss in the dark (in fact, as weird as it may sound- it felt like keeping a big secret from a good friend) and told her on Thursday. She was super excited for us and really understanding- I am really glad I told her and feel a lot lighter now. I let her know that I would like to keep it confidential for the next few weeks, and of course she understood completely. Even though I will miss her company when I am on leave, I also want to make sure we find someone to support her and our department while I am gone.
We also told Die Mutti (Broom's Mom) on Thursday. She was positive, but a little weird (although I, while drunk last Christmas, gave her allll the details about what it was taking for us to get pregnant). She said "you (insert my name here) are going to have a baby" where I replied "yes, Broom and I are having a baby". We let her know that we weren't ready to tell Broom's brothers yet. True to her form, she then let us know that we should get a bunch of new furniture for the baby's room.
So, we will see how her reaction progresses / fluctuates.
Today, the impulse buy Fetal Doppler that I got online. It isn't that easy to use yet, but I was able to catch Shrimpy as he or she swam by. It was great to see the heartbeat, even if it was just for a moment.
Happy Weekend!
Somehow slow, but with nice events accenting the week.
On Monday, I was off sick as I had tooth pain from Saturday onwards that got progressively worse, but I was able to get in to see my dentist, who discovered a cavity. I hadn't really had anything but checkups with her before, so I didn't know how un-informative and cruel she is. NO information about what she was doing (unannounced drilling, anyone?) and didn't really tell me what she did- but at least I can see that she filled a cavity. After she checks on her work in two weeks, I will be getting a new dentist. I'm done with insensitive doctors!
I spent my day off sleeping, relaxing, and spending time with myself. I think I needed it more than I thought.
My workweek was fine, and I decided that I couldn't continue keeping my awesome boss in the dark (in fact, as weird as it may sound- it felt like keeping a big secret from a good friend) and told her on Thursday. She was super excited for us and really understanding- I am really glad I told her and feel a lot lighter now. I let her know that I would like to keep it confidential for the next few weeks, and of course she understood completely. Even though I will miss her company when I am on leave, I also want to make sure we find someone to support her and our department while I am gone.
We also told Die Mutti (Broom's Mom) on Thursday. She was positive, but a little weird (although I, while drunk last Christmas, gave her allll the details about what it was taking for us to get pregnant). She said "you (insert my name here) are going to have a baby" where I replied "yes, Broom and I are having a baby". We let her know that we weren't ready to tell Broom's brothers yet. True to her form, she then let us know that we should get a bunch of new furniture for the baby's room.
So, we will see how her reaction progresses / fluctuates.
Today, the impulse buy Fetal Doppler that I got online. It isn't that easy to use yet, but I was able to catch Shrimpy as he or she swam by. It was great to see the heartbeat, even if it was just for a moment.
Happy Weekend!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wake up call
Today I ran some overtime statistics and realized, that for the month of February, that I worked the highest average number of hours per day than anyone else who punches a clock in Germany (which most people here do, as there is a working hours law that requires employers and employees to have a record of the number of hours worked.
This was hard for me to see. I don't want to be doing as much overtime as I have been, but I am worried about letting my boss down, who I really like as a boss, and as a "friend" (I dunno if we could call it that, but it feels like that to me). I don't want to be that person- because no matter what you might think- no one gives a shit about your overtime or "all the work you've done for the company". Really. They don't care. Once you are gone, you are gone and the work will either be taken over by someone else or not. And the clock still keeps on ticking.
Getting pregnant and having a baby with Broom is my highest priority right now. I've given up coffee, alcohol, and vigorous physical exercise until we know for sure how this cycle turns out, and then there is a small window for wine and the cross trainer before it starts again. My overtime is the other part where I just need to.let.it.go. It's not like I'm saving lives! So, I'm giving up feeling like I need to be able to do everything, because I can't- and work is where I need to start cutting down. Starting Monday, I am going to try and not work any more that 9.5 hours a day. It's still not perfect- but it would be a big baby step (pun intended).
On that note, I had my 2nd ultrasound yesterday, and my endometrium was up to a perfect 11mm and I had 2 follicles, on 15mm and the other 18mm (multiple smaller follicles on the other side). We triggered yesterday (still have yet to break the ampule for the mixing liquid without it at least partially shattering), and yesterday (before the trigger) I had another 2 glaringly positive OPKs. Today I had ovulation like pains around 2:30pm and tomorrow I need to be at the clinic at 10:15 for a 10:45 insem.
So, this timing could still be really good, although I have no idea what to think since hCG can increase your temp, and mine was slightly up. We will see in two weeks, I guess.
Happy Friday, people!
This was hard for me to see. I don't want to be doing as much overtime as I have been, but I am worried about letting my boss down, who I really like as a boss, and as a "friend" (I dunno if we could call it that, but it feels like that to me). I don't want to be that person- because no matter what you might think- no one gives a shit about your overtime or "all the work you've done for the company". Really. They don't care. Once you are gone, you are gone and the work will either be taken over by someone else or not. And the clock still keeps on ticking.
Getting pregnant and having a baby with Broom is my highest priority right now. I've given up coffee, alcohol, and vigorous physical exercise until we know for sure how this cycle turns out, and then there is a small window for wine and the cross trainer before it starts again. My overtime is the other part where I just need to.let.it.go. It's not like I'm saving lives! So, I'm giving up feeling like I need to be able to do everything, because I can't- and work is where I need to start cutting down. Starting Monday, I am going to try and not work any more that 9.5 hours a day. It's still not perfect- but it would be a big baby step (pun intended).
On that note, I had my 2nd ultrasound yesterday, and my endometrium was up to a perfect 11mm and I had 2 follicles, on 15mm and the other 18mm (multiple smaller follicles on the other side). We triggered yesterday (still have yet to break the ampule for the mixing liquid without it at least partially shattering), and yesterday (before the trigger) I had another 2 glaringly positive OPKs. Today I had ovulation like pains around 2:30pm and tomorrow I need to be at the clinic at 10:15 for a 10:45 insem.
So, this timing could still be really good, although I have no idea what to think since hCG can increase your temp, and mine was slightly up. We will see in two weeks, I guess.
Happy Friday, people!
Monday, February 11, 2013
I think we can declare last week a crap week
Last week kicked my ass.
It started off with a bunch of work crap going wrong, and whole lot of stress that I did not deal with well. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, a lot of my work had mistakes, and I felt like I was seriously done with feeling like we weren't getting anywhere.
Admittedly, I know I am undergoing hormone treatments and gearing up for my next cycle and insem, but it still felt like too much to handle- more than I was capable of dealing with. So, when Broom asked me about my day on Wednesday, I burst into inconsolable tears, and then again later that same night.
I want to be able to have more than two hobbies (blogging and working out)! Not work 50 hour weeks! Have time to help on strategic projects rather than drowning in a sea of administrative and urgent tasks!
My boss being as awesome as she is, I geared up to talk with her about it on Thursday, and had planned to do so after lunch.
Right before lunch, after running errands in the building where I work, I glanced at my phone. Every email account and digital profile I had contained a message:
"Please call Dad."
Anyone living abroad, or somewhere that you can't get home quickly from knows that this a really bad message. This means bad shit has happened, because good news usually has a larger time window than bad news.
Due to above mentioned awesomeness, I used the office phone and called my Dad at 5 am to find out that my Grandma had passed away that morning.
Her last words were "I'm fine.".
With those words, the amazing life of one of the most consistently-nice people I have had the pleasure of knowing came to an end. 87 years of volunteering, mothering, grandmothering, and being the epitome of a "good person". My family told me that many more people came to the services than they had anticipated, and even the nursing home staff were in tears at the news of her passing (even though I wonder if you ever truly get used to loss).
On Monday, I put a card in the mail for her- a bouquet of flowers on the front, since they are easier to send that way. On Wednesday, it came back because its smaller, unusual shape called for more postage.
Thursday night, I made the tough call not to buy a ticket home for the next day. My family completely understands, but I wish I could be there to grieve with them.
The last time I saw her, Thanksgiving 2012, she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her "15 minutes with you, Grandma". As she was consistently very tired as of late, she asked me 5 minutes later if her time was up yet, but in a way that was more funny than rude. Later on, she looked at my rings, and asked me if I was engaged. When I replied that I was already married, she responded "That's right, Broom." and then was able to state our wedding anniversary, including the year (2010).
Was last week a crap week?
Hell yes.
But you know what my Grandma taught me?
Niceness pays off. And of course, I'll be fine.
It started off with a bunch of work crap going wrong, and whole lot of stress that I did not deal with well. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, a lot of my work had mistakes, and I felt like I was seriously done with feeling like we weren't getting anywhere.
Admittedly, I know I am undergoing hormone treatments and gearing up for my next cycle and insem, but it still felt like too much to handle- more than I was capable of dealing with. So, when Broom asked me about my day on Wednesday, I burst into inconsolable tears, and then again later that same night.
I want to be able to have more than two hobbies (blogging and working out)! Not work 50 hour weeks! Have time to help on strategic projects rather than drowning in a sea of administrative and urgent tasks!
My boss being as awesome as she is, I geared up to talk with her about it on Thursday, and had planned to do so after lunch.
Right before lunch, after running errands in the building where I work, I glanced at my phone. Every email account and digital profile I had contained a message:
"Please call Dad."
Anyone living abroad, or somewhere that you can't get home quickly from knows that this a really bad message. This means bad shit has happened, because good news usually has a larger time window than bad news.
Due to above mentioned awesomeness, I used the office phone and called my Dad at 5 am to find out that my Grandma had passed away that morning.
Her last words were "I'm fine.".
With those words, the amazing life of one of the most consistently-nice people I have had the pleasure of knowing came to an end. 87 years of volunteering, mothering, grandmothering, and being the epitome of a "good person". My family told me that many more people came to the services than they had anticipated, and even the nursing home staff were in tears at the news of her passing (even though I wonder if you ever truly get used to loss).
On Monday, I put a card in the mail for her- a bouquet of flowers on the front, since they are easier to send that way. On Wednesday, it came back because its smaller, unusual shape called for more postage.
Thursday night, I made the tough call not to buy a ticket home for the next day. My family completely understands, but I wish I could be there to grieve with them.
The last time I saw her, Thanksgiving 2012, she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her "15 minutes with you, Grandma". As she was consistently very tired as of late, she asked me 5 minutes later if her time was up yet, but in a way that was more funny than rude. Later on, she looked at my rings, and asked me if I was engaged. When I replied that I was already married, she responded "That's right, Broom." and then was able to state our wedding anniversary, including the year (2010).
Was last week a crap week?
Hell yes.
But you know what my Grandma taught me?
Niceness pays off. And of course, I'll be fine.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Week 2 of homeopathic treatments
Week two starts tomorrow!
I am doing the shots to strengthen my ovaries, twice a week as administered by my natural healer and drops for the parts of my brain responsible for hormone production (40 drops, diluted in some water, sipped slowly, 3x a day before meals).
While there are no side-effects whatsoever (there usually aren't with natural remedies), I ovulated this week on cycle day 14! I had been ovulating on day 16-19, so I am excited to see how long my cycle is this month, and will have to plan on getting my next follicle ultrasound done earlier next cycle, just in case.
Nevertheless, I am excited to see that there have already been changes, even after just a short amount of time!
Other than practicing patience in regards to next cycle, I have also been trying to manage my work stress with workouts and eating healthy. I am going to try and work with my boss so that my consistent overtime slowly becomes only occasional. I do feel like I am dealing with my stress differently and better, though. I am back to the mindset that I had when I ran the department myself, which is that I can only do so much in one day- and we really aren't saving lives here!
Enjoyed a really nice weekend with Broom, and we are slowly working our way through reorganizing rooms in our apartment, and getting rid of stuff we don't need feels really good.
All in all, I feel like I am truly taking care of me in a way I believe in, and it feels really good.
I am doing the shots to strengthen my ovaries, twice a week as administered by my natural healer and drops for the parts of my brain responsible for hormone production (40 drops, diluted in some water, sipped slowly, 3x a day before meals).
While there are no side-effects whatsoever (there usually aren't with natural remedies), I ovulated this week on cycle day 14! I had been ovulating on day 16-19, so I am excited to see how long my cycle is this month, and will have to plan on getting my next follicle ultrasound done earlier next cycle, just in case.
Nevertheless, I am excited to see that there have already been changes, even after just a short amount of time!
Other than practicing patience in regards to next cycle, I have also been trying to manage my work stress with workouts and eating healthy. I am going to try and work with my boss so that my consistent overtime slowly becomes only occasional. I do feel like I am dealing with my stress differently and better, though. I am back to the mindset that I had when I ran the department myself, which is that I can only do so much in one day- and we really aren't saving lives here!
Enjoyed a really nice weekend with Broom, and we are slowly working our way through reorganizing rooms in our apartment, and getting rid of stuff we don't need feels really good.
All in all, I feel like I am truly taking care of me in a way I believe in, and it feels really good.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
No news
is not really good news.
Hopefully, no one was waiting to hear if I was preggo with bait on their breath. :)
Despite a good cycle, we are not pregnant.
I found out before having to go "man" my company's stand at a career fair, and dealt with it OK at that moment. Later, after some wine, I had my pity moment, and am feeling positive again right now.
Luckily, the good thing about working all weekend is that I was so tired that I didn't have time to be sad, and now that I have made my next follicle measurement appointment for next week, I have something to look forward to.
I am going to my natural healer on Friday to see what he can do to strengthen my ovaries, and although he didn't say anything about my request to use acupuncture last time, I would like to insist on it this time since I have heard so many good things about it in combination with IUI and IVF.
And, after being on my feet all weekend, I am also thinking about booking a massage. It is all about taking care of myself and my relationship with Broom during this process, so these steps are very important to me.
Off to Biodanza for the first time since before Christmas tonight. I am excited about dancing with them, and about sharing, despite the fact that I am a little worried about being judged for not getting pregnant "quickly" (whatever the hell that means). It just boggles my mind how many people don't understand how getting pregnant works. Unfortunately, the teacher made an offhand remark about me just having a one night stand a couple of months ago, and even though we talked about it, I still don't think she "gets" how horrible her comment was. Alas, I at least know they are trying to understand where we are coming from and what we are going through, and sometimes, that is really all you can ask for.
Hopefully, no one was waiting to hear if I was preggo with bait on their breath. :)
Despite a good cycle, we are not pregnant.
I found out before having to go "man" my company's stand at a career fair, and dealt with it OK at that moment. Later, after some wine, I had my pity moment, and am feeling positive again right now.
Luckily, the good thing about working all weekend is that I was so tired that I didn't have time to be sad, and now that I have made my next follicle measurement appointment for next week, I have something to look forward to.
I am going to my natural healer on Friday to see what he can do to strengthen my ovaries, and although he didn't say anything about my request to use acupuncture last time, I would like to insist on it this time since I have heard so many good things about it in combination with IUI and IVF.
And, after being on my feet all weekend, I am also thinking about booking a massage. It is all about taking care of myself and my relationship with Broom during this process, so these steps are very important to me.
Off to Biodanza for the first time since before Christmas tonight. I am excited about dancing with them, and about sharing, despite the fact that I am a little worried about being judged for not getting pregnant "quickly" (whatever the hell that means). It just boggles my mind how many people don't understand how getting pregnant works. Unfortunately, the teacher made an offhand remark about me just having a one night stand a couple of months ago, and even though we talked about it, I still don't think she "gets" how horrible her comment was. Alas, I at least know they are trying to understand where we are coming from and what we are going through, and sometimes, that is really all you can ask for.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Only a little more waiting
...and we will know if it worked!
I have done a good job of being distracted, especially since work has been really busy.
The only thing that has been foiling my plans are the "signs" that I have been having (since we will only know later if they are actually signs or not).
They include: tender breasts (and one evening nipples of fire, OMFG, that woke me up), pulling in my uterus- every single day, mood swings, exhaustion, and peeing lots and lots among other things that are also PMS signs. So, I am trying to take it all with agrain block of salt. Additionally, I had a temperature drop and spike, which has stayed up today, and we will see what tomorrow brings.
Other than trying not to lose my mind- which I think Broom would confirm has been hit or miss depending on my current mood swing, I have been having a good week. Glad to be busy, but I will also be glad to know soon. We will test on Wednesday at the latest, maybe Tuesday if I can't stand it anymore and my temperature is still up.
Other than all of the waiting, work has at least provided me with some comic relief in the form of an employee from a personnel search company who kept on going on and on about someone he had that was perfect for HR. Even after we told him that we don't have a vacancy and don't know anyone who does, (Hello? Even if my sweater shows my belly a bit, don't assume anything here, it just makes you look like an ass because I was bloated during the meeting, mkay? And just because someone has a belly in Germany does not automatically mean that they are pregnant!), he sent us her profile summary. If that were not enough, he sent us the link to the website that he has for his bird breeding- which he spoke about in detail while there to talk about the company that he works for. He asked us to evaluate his website. Very professional!
Keep those fingers crossed and those thumbs pressed!
I have done a good job of being distracted, especially since work has been really busy.
The only thing that has been foiling my plans are the "signs" that I have been having (since we will only know later if they are actually signs or not).
They include: tender breasts (and one evening nipples of fire, OMFG, that woke me up), pulling in my uterus- every single day, mood swings, exhaustion, and peeing lots and lots among other things that are also PMS signs. So, I am trying to take it all with a
Other than trying not to lose my mind- which I think Broom would confirm has been hit or miss depending on my current mood swing, I have been having a good week. Glad to be busy, but I will also be glad to know soon. We will test on Wednesday at the latest, maybe Tuesday if I can't stand it anymore and my temperature is still up.
Other than all of the waiting, work has at least provided me with some comic relief in the form of an employee from a personnel search company who kept on going on and on about someone he had that was perfect for HR. Even after we told him that we don't have a vacancy and don't know anyone who does, (Hello? Even if my sweater shows my belly a bit, don't assume anything here, it just makes you look like an ass because I was bloated during the meeting, mkay? And just because someone has a belly in Germany does not automatically mean that they are pregnant!), he sent us her profile summary. If that were not enough, he sent us the link to the website that he has for his bird breeding- which he spoke about in detail while there to talk about the company that he works for. He asked us to evaluate his website. Very professional!
Keep those fingers crossed and those thumbs pressed!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Start your engines
Ironic, isn't it?
First, I post about having free time, then I kind of briefly, forget that I have a blog.
Happens to the best of us, amirite?
Anywho, since I tempted the universe with that post, my workload blew up in my face, leading to the new feeling that 10 hour days were "short". I am, however, still eternally grateful that my boss is the bee's knees & at least half of all of our employee issues are her responsibility & I get to play a supporting role. (Oh, how I would love to be able to blog about each of them in detail!) Let's just sum all of them up with "What do you mean I can't send a completely disrespectful and unprofessional email to HR and not expect consequences?!?" Um...no.
Other than work, I am glad to say that Broom's stress has also gotten less, which means that things are altogether running more smoothly.
It was the perfect setup to go on a 1.5 week vaycay to Dublin. The city is so highly idealized where I come from that I had really high expectations. It wasn't as "old" looking as I had expected, but it was great fun and visiting the neighboring coastal cities was amazing. Also, some of the nicest locals I have ever met! They go out of their way to make sure you get help, even taking time out of their own busy commute. Catching up with my rents and relaxing was just what I needed.
Luckily, I was able to come back to the news that I am healthy again!
Told the Dr. via email right away, so we should be able to try again in about 3 weeks.
It feels good to know we can start working towards this goal of ours again.
First, I post about having free time, then I kind of briefly, forget that I have a blog.
Happens to the best of us, amirite?
Anywho, since I tempted the universe with that post, my workload blew up in my face, leading to the new feeling that 10 hour days were "short". I am, however, still eternally grateful that my boss is the bee's knees & at least half of all of our employee issues are her responsibility & I get to play a supporting role. (Oh, how I would love to be able to blog about each of them in detail!) Let's just sum all of them up with "What do you mean I can't send a completely disrespectful and unprofessional email to HR and not expect consequences?!?" Um...no.
Other than work, I am glad to say that Broom's stress has also gotten less, which means that things are altogether running more smoothly.
It was the perfect setup to go on a 1.5 week vaycay to Dublin. The city is so highly idealized where I come from that I had really high expectations. It wasn't as "old" looking as I had expected, but it was great fun and visiting the neighboring coastal cities was amazing. Also, some of the nicest locals I have ever met! They go out of their way to make sure you get help, even taking time out of their own busy commute. Catching up with my rents and relaxing was just what I needed.
Luckily, I was able to come back to the news that I am healthy again!
Told the Dr. via email right away, so we should be able to try again in about 3 weeks.
It feels good to know we can start working towards this goal of ours again.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
And then there was free time?!?
It is quite an odd sensation, suddenly not to have all of the responsibility at work.
I wasn't sure how it would go, or if I would like it.
To be honest, I am still getting used to it, but I quite like it!
Now, I can ask someone for help and a second opinion AND we can split the work.
To boot, she is my boss and an incredibly nice person who I feel like I can be friends with and trust to be a great coworker. It feels like a new beginning, after the past year filled with tons of overtime and stress.
Being able to go home at normal times is something that I will definately have to get used to as time goes on, but I think I am going to be surprisingly ok with not being the boss anymore. It isn't my time yet, I have other priorities and am slowly getting more time to think about which ones I would like to put first. Thinking about myself and what to do with my free time is the more scary part, but since it will be a gradual change to just 40 hours a week, I think I will slowly be able to get used to having a balanced life again.
That sounds just about right!
I wasn't sure how it would go, or if I would like it.
To be honest, I am still getting used to it, but I quite like it!
Now, I can ask someone for help and a second opinion AND we can split the work.
To boot, she is my boss and an incredibly nice person who I feel like I can be friends with and trust to be a great coworker. It feels like a new beginning, after the past year filled with tons of overtime and stress.
Being able to go home at normal times is something that I will definately have to get used to as time goes on, but I think I am going to be surprisingly ok with not being the boss anymore. It isn't my time yet, I have other priorities and am slowly getting more time to think about which ones I would like to put first. Thinking about myself and what to do with my free time is the more scary part, but since it will be a gradual change to just 40 hours a week, I think I will slowly be able to get used to having a balanced life again.
That sounds just about right!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Distraction
I am pleased to say that my moods have pretty much normalized after having a bad weekend last weekend- I just felt very out of control of my emotions. Depressed, moody, and a very low self-esteem. I think that was my body adjusting to the new thyroid medication and I feel much better now and look forward to my blood work in a few weeks.
In the meantime, I have been really busy at work and although I am quite good at what I do and I feel like it makes a difference for the individuals that I help, but sometimes it feels a little lost in the grand scheme of things and I wonder if my "real" calling will reveal myself. I have been clocking a lot of overtime, which I hope to be able to stop soon- but it is hard for me since there is no one else in my department to fall back on. On the one hand, I know that once my body is ready for us to try again, that my stress should be as low as possible, it is hard to reduce it when I am fighting through all of the work alone.
So, in the meantime, I am doing my best to distract myself with real life and really enjoy it. Sometimes easier said than done for me, as I always weigh myself down with needing to have accomplished things to feel good about myself. I am not 100% sure where it comes from, but it is something that I have always had.
Here is to letting go on this hot Saturday in the Schland.
In the meantime, I have been really busy at work and although I am quite good at what I do and I feel like it makes a difference for the individuals that I help, but sometimes it feels a little lost in the grand scheme of things and I wonder if my "real" calling will reveal myself. I have been clocking a lot of overtime, which I hope to be able to stop soon- but it is hard for me since there is no one else in my department to fall back on. On the one hand, I know that once my body is ready for us to try again, that my stress should be as low as possible, it is hard to reduce it when I am fighting through all of the work alone.
So, in the meantime, I am doing my best to distract myself with real life and really enjoy it. Sometimes easier said than done for me, as I always weigh myself down with needing to have accomplished things to feel good about myself. I am not 100% sure where it comes from, but it is something that I have always had.
Here is to letting go on this hot Saturday in the Schland.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Balance
Lately, I have been struggling to find a balance in life.
Not concentrating too much on work can be hard, considering how much overtime I've been putting in. I feel like I have been fighting to defend my job, and a part of me wonders if it is even worth the trouble.
I've told myself I will only keep up this number of overtime hours until the end of the month- then I need to get my work life and my personal life balanced out again. I can defend until then, then I need to put my foot down. But, due to the "fight" I am worried that if I show weakness, I will have lost before the bell. But how important is this, anyway?
No one is going to thank you for killing yourself at work- and I've practically lost the "fight" already- merely because of my age. Apparently being in your late 20's is too young for HR in Germany (or at least in my current company, since I've gotten contacted by headhunters lately).
I have to concentrate more on the bigger goal- staying happy, healthy, and balanced.
And- as soon as Broom has more job clarity, we are starting insemination & then I will be off for a year and a half anyways.
So- in the immortal words of South Park (thank God I can't remember which character used to say this) "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
My life is more important than tipping the scales on what is balanced and what isn't. I believe I can have a successful career, and a life.
Not concentrating too much on work can be hard, considering how much overtime I've been putting in. I feel like I have been fighting to defend my job, and a part of me wonders if it is even worth the trouble.
I've told myself I will only keep up this number of overtime hours until the end of the month- then I need to get my work life and my personal life balanced out again. I can defend until then, then I need to put my foot down. But, due to the "fight" I am worried that if I show weakness, I will have lost before the bell. But how important is this, anyway?
No one is going to thank you for killing yourself at work- and I've practically lost the "fight" already- merely because of my age. Apparently being in your late 20's is too young for HR in Germany (or at least in my current company, since I've gotten contacted by headhunters lately).
I have to concentrate more on the bigger goal- staying happy, healthy, and balanced.
And- as soon as Broom has more job clarity, we are starting insemination & then I will be off for a year and a half anyways.
So- in the immortal words of South Park (thank God I can't remember which character used to say this) "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"
My life is more important than tipping the scales on what is balanced and what isn't. I believe I can have a successful career, and a life.
Monday, January 30, 2012
How Many Homos Does it Take to Jump a Car Battery?
On Thursday, I went out to my car to start it and go to work.
The night before, I went to my first-ever Biodanza course. I have to say, it was a lot more hippie than I had been expecting. However, it is the closest that I have felt to people I have just met since I was in a youth group. It was nice to connect to these people in many ways, and to be able to dance and not have a care in the world. I felt accepted as I am and it was lovely.
Since the dancing went past my normal bedtime (11pm, lame!), I slept in a little bit.
I started the car, cleared off the winshield, and got in. After I put it in drive, the car started acting up and the radio kept turning on and off and the power steering wouldn't work. I turned off the car to turn it back on again to see if the problems went away, but the battery was dead. (But at least I had scraped off the windshield!)
After getting one colleague to take me to work, and another- who is also queer, to take me home, he and I proceeded to try and jump the car battery.
But- to no avail. We couldn't even get it hooked up properly and stood there like giggling schoolgirls. Whouda thunk that us two homos couldn't figure it out??
The night before, I went to my first-ever Biodanza course. I have to say, it was a lot more hippie than I had been expecting. However, it is the closest that I have felt to people I have just met since I was in a youth group. It was nice to connect to these people in many ways, and to be able to dance and not have a care in the world. I felt accepted as I am and it was lovely.
Since the dancing went past my normal bedtime (11pm, lame!), I slept in a little bit.
I started the car, cleared off the winshield, and got in. After I put it in drive, the car started acting up and the radio kept turning on and off and the power steering wouldn't work. I turned off the car to turn it back on again to see if the problems went away, but the battery was dead. (But at least I had scraped off the windshield!)
After getting one colleague to take me to work, and another- who is also queer, to take me home, he and I proceeded to try and jump the car battery.
But- to no avail. We couldn't even get it hooked up properly and stood there like giggling schoolgirls. Whouda thunk that us two homos couldn't figure it out??
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