There are a whole hell of a lot of things that I have learned since becoming a mother.
One of those things is that I am glad that I did not have expectations about what my child would be like. This turned out to be a good thing since I never would have guessed that my child would have Epilepsy.
Although I am almost always able to put things in perspective and appreciate the fact that Shrimpy's Epilepsy isn't severe, is well managed, and hasn't caused any delays as far as we can tell, sometimes I don't want to be reasonable about it.
Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have been typical first-time parents- freaking out about little things and having sleep as the biggest worry. I also dream about what it would have been like to have had two weeks off with Broom and Shrimpy, getting to know one another and letting my body recover from birth.
Instead I was on my feet within the hospital and lost a lot of blood, healed badly, had edema on my feet and hands, a bout with depression, PTSD and nightmares. Instead, I kept my baby within eyesight for longer than I care to admit- first in person, then with a video baby monitor. My biggest worry was that I would miss a seizure, she wouldn't breathe, and she would get brain damage or die. I had a lot of anxiety about all of those things.
Those are hard words to write. But I learned to "feel" her moods and try and just let the risk be. Will it be there for a long, long time. Will it ever go away? I really don't know.
But I also know that there are mothers out there who would be happy to "just" have those worries.
I know I am lucky, and I know that I am strong, as is Shrimpy.
Somehow, through all of that, we managed to breastfeed for 13 months.
Somehow, we managed to not let Epilepsy rule our life.
Do I wonder what life would be like without a bed monitor and video monitor for my Shrimpy? Do I wonder if the medicine made her personality different? Sure.
Luckily, most of the time, I don't wonder if we are doing the right thing because it just feels right.
These things make our family feel good:
- We speak openly about her Epilepsy so that she knows there is nothing to be ashamed of-we are even working on her learning on how to give herself her medicine
- We don't ask for her to be treated differently- but we do avoid her triggers (so, sleep is holy and disco balls are not our friends)
- We don't watch TV with her- screen time is limited to an occasional Sesame Street song on a cell phone
- We keep to a schedule that we try not to make too busy and think twice about when we decide to act outside of it
So, on today, like every other day, I will let myself mourn the life I didn't have while concentrating on the awesome life I do have- with an amazing wife and wonderful child who never ceases to amaze me.
Shrimpy may be special needs in her own way- but I have come to the conclusion that each child has their own special needs and each life has its "normal".
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Friday, October 16, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Oh, hey.
So...um...awkward silence?
I would apologize for writing, but the truth is, I am not sorry. Turns out I needed the time to come more fully into my role as a mother and enjoy our little family oasis before starting work again in February 2015.
Now, I feel like I can write again- but where to start?
With the little one, of course!
Luckily, we are all doing well. Shrimpy still has her undefined form of Epilepsy but had her last petit mal in October of 2014 and her last grand mal in April of 2014. She has myoclonic seizures at times, but they haven't influenced her in any way other than being a pain since she gets them in that in-between falling asleep phase (imagine a whole body jerk- like those that everyone has at some times, but with 50 in 30 minutes- that is how we knew they were epileptic). She doesn't seem to have any other type, and we have her down to 2 medications and want to see if we can get her to 1 medication this year if possible.
Her development is right on track if not a little ahead, which we are over the moon about. Her head circumference is a little on the small side, but it isn't noticeable. There could be a connection between that and her Epilepsy, but it is hard to tell. She has been walking since the end of February, which is also when she self-weaned (probably because I started work at the beginning of February and my daughter doesn't like to expend too much energy if she doesn't have to). Her vocabulary has been growing in leaps and bounds in both languages and she has been to the US twice now. She is sweet and funny and stubborn and curious and I love her so. We got our first choice for her daycare and she runs in without saying goodbye. It is awesome and pulls on the heartstrings a little too. She runs towards us giggling when we pick her up though, which totally rocks.
What else?
Broom and I are great. Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in September, which is just crazy. Life gets hectic every once and awhile and we have to remember to take time for one another- but I think many couples have that. We moved in April due to mold in our old apartment and our new one is definitely much bigger and nicer- two floors and lots of space for when we decide to end Shrimpy's status as an only child. That project should be starting soon- and the plan is for Broom to carry! We found a naturally-oriented gyno who I really like, and I hope she feels the same way. The gyno has agreed to help us all that she can in our future child making endeavors.
Going back to work has been anti-climactic. My job was adjusted for the woman who replaced me and since she was less qualified than me, a lot of tasks are gone and I am quite honestly, bored (I am aware that that sounds like I am putting myself on a pedestal, but it is very much a different job). I am working on getting them back and also applying when new jobs come up. We will see where it takes me. All in all, the transition has been ok though. Do I wish that my job was stimulating and fulfilling so that I didn't feel like the cells in my body are turning into the same material as my outdated desk? Sure. But I know I am damn lucky to have a job, and it makes a lot of things possible for us which I am grateful for.
I would apologize for writing, but the truth is, I am not sorry. Turns out I needed the time to come more fully into my role as a mother and enjoy our little family oasis before starting work again in February 2015.
Now, I feel like I can write again- but where to start?
With the little one, of course!
Luckily, we are all doing well. Shrimpy still has her undefined form of Epilepsy but had her last petit mal in October of 2014 and her last grand mal in April of 2014. She has myoclonic seizures at times, but they haven't influenced her in any way other than being a pain since she gets them in that in-between falling asleep phase (imagine a whole body jerk- like those that everyone has at some times, but with 50 in 30 minutes- that is how we knew they were epileptic). She doesn't seem to have any other type, and we have her down to 2 medications and want to see if we can get her to 1 medication this year if possible.
Her development is right on track if not a little ahead, which we are over the moon about. Her head circumference is a little on the small side, but it isn't noticeable. There could be a connection between that and her Epilepsy, but it is hard to tell. She has been walking since the end of February, which is also when she self-weaned (probably because I started work at the beginning of February and my daughter doesn't like to expend too much energy if she doesn't have to). Her vocabulary has been growing in leaps and bounds in both languages and she has been to the US twice now. She is sweet and funny and stubborn and curious and I love her so. We got our first choice for her daycare and she runs in without saying goodbye. It is awesome and pulls on the heartstrings a little too. She runs towards us giggling when we pick her up though, which totally rocks.
What else?
Broom and I are great. Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in September, which is just crazy. Life gets hectic every once and awhile and we have to remember to take time for one another- but I think many couples have that. We moved in April due to mold in our old apartment and our new one is definitely much bigger and nicer- two floors and lots of space for when we decide to end Shrimpy's status as an only child. That project should be starting soon- and the plan is for Broom to carry! We found a naturally-oriented gyno who I really like, and I hope she feels the same way. The gyno has agreed to help us all that she can in our future child making endeavors.
Going back to work has been anti-climactic. My job was adjusted for the woman who replaced me and since she was less qualified than me, a lot of tasks are gone and I am quite honestly, bored (I am aware that that sounds like I am putting myself on a pedestal, but it is very much a different job). I am working on getting them back and also applying when new jobs come up. We will see where it takes me. All in all, the transition has been ok though. Do I wish that my job was stimulating and fulfilling so that I didn't feel like the cells in my body are turning into the same material as my outdated desk? Sure. But I know I am damn lucky to have a job, and it makes a lot of things possible for us which I am grateful for.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
A pat on the back
As you can see, my resolution to blog more frequently is more easily said than done.... but I am doing my best to keep all guilty feelings in check- which, with a Catholic school upbringing nicht immer einfach ist.
However, given our past with Shrimpy, I think getting caught up in day-to-day things is something that I can really be thankful for, and I have really been enjoying the small stuff.
As of this writing, she has been seizure free for 3 months and 8 days. Every day without is truly a gift. We have slowly been reducing one of her meds since 3 is a lot, and (**knocks on an entire forest**) it is going well so far. I am still processing the trauma that we have been through, but think that it will take a long while. Perhaps I will seek out a therapist, but I'm not sure yet. My nightmares have gotten better, and I can sometimes forget that we have the threat of seizures breathing down our necks and am determined to have us all live as normally as possible.
Since my last post post concentrated a lot on the hard realities that we have been through, I am going to brag a bit, and list the things that make me proud at the moment because I can:
- Shrimpy and I exclusively breast fed for 6 months (despite 2 illness periods where she was too weak to drink)! In fact, we have somehow managed to have no major difficulties other than the times she was ill. I feel really lucky that our breastfeeding relationship has been so solid. On her half birthday, we gave her sweet potato to try out (baby led weaning). She isn't quite ready, but we keep practicing for when she is ready.
- We made the family decision to try having her sleep in her own room since all 3 of us were no longer sleeping well, and since then, we have all slept great!
- Shrimpy has a slightly smaller than normal head circumference, but everything else is normal. She has more than doubled her birth weight and has met all of her developmental milestones. She turned over in both directions in May and did it a few times afterwards, but has since been distracted with other things- like her feet!
- The few trips we have taken as a family have been great- with very little fussiness and no trouble sleeping elsewhere. Yay!
- We got a spot in our first choice for daycare- one right around the corner with phenomenal opening times meaning that I can work 40 hours if I so choose and don't have to miss out on too many meetings, even though I will surely find a way around as many as possible. We spoke with the manager there and she has already had good experiences with other children with epilepsy and even double checked with her staff to ensure that there were no prejudices against families like ours. Check and check!
My American brain can still hardly believe that I have been off work for so long and that I don't have to go back until February. With appointments, playgroups, meeting up with friends, and everything else that normal life and keeping up a household entails, time has really been flying by.
I truly cherish being able to rock my baby to sleep and nurse her whenever she needs it. Playtime and nap time and yes, I can even appreciate when she throws a tantrum because she now hates taking her medicine- because she is healthy enough to tantrum and we now know that her being upset probably isn't a trigger.
We have even found a babysitter that we have gotten to know gradually and had our first date night since my mom was here. It was a nice, brief time out for the first time and good for us.
All in all, it isn't easy living with the "what if" in the back of my head all the time, but I refuse to let Epilepsy scare me from having the most normal life possible for me and my family. Shrimpy deserves that, and so do we.
However, given our past with Shrimpy, I think getting caught up in day-to-day things is something that I can really be thankful for, and I have really been enjoying the small stuff.
As of this writing, she has been seizure free for 3 months and 8 days. Every day without is truly a gift. We have slowly been reducing one of her meds since 3 is a lot, and (**knocks on an entire forest**) it is going well so far. I am still processing the trauma that we have been through, but think that it will take a long while. Perhaps I will seek out a therapist, but I'm not sure yet. My nightmares have gotten better, and I can sometimes forget that we have the threat of seizures breathing down our necks and am determined to have us all live as normally as possible.
Since my last post post concentrated a lot on the hard realities that we have been through, I am going to brag a bit, and list the things that make me proud at the moment because I can:
- Shrimpy and I exclusively breast fed for 6 months (despite 2 illness periods where she was too weak to drink)! In fact, we have somehow managed to have no major difficulties other than the times she was ill. I feel really lucky that our breastfeeding relationship has been so solid. On her half birthday, we gave her sweet potato to try out (baby led weaning). She isn't quite ready, but we keep practicing for when she is ready.
- We made the family decision to try having her sleep in her own room since all 3 of us were no longer sleeping well, and since then, we have all slept great!
- Shrimpy has a slightly smaller than normal head circumference, but everything else is normal. She has more than doubled her birth weight and has met all of her developmental milestones. She turned over in both directions in May and did it a few times afterwards, but has since been distracted with other things- like her feet!
- The few trips we have taken as a family have been great- with very little fussiness and no trouble sleeping elsewhere. Yay!
- We got a spot in our first choice for daycare- one right around the corner with phenomenal opening times meaning that I can work 40 hours if I so choose and don't have to miss out on too many meetings, even though I will surely find a way around as many as possible. We spoke with the manager there and she has already had good experiences with other children with epilepsy and even double checked with her staff to ensure that there were no prejudices against families like ours. Check and check!
My American brain can still hardly believe that I have been off work for so long and that I don't have to go back until February. With appointments, playgroups, meeting up with friends, and everything else that normal life and keeping up a household entails, time has really been flying by.
I truly cherish being able to rock my baby to sleep and nurse her whenever she needs it. Playtime and nap time and yes, I can even appreciate when she throws a tantrum because she now hates taking her medicine- because she is healthy enough to tantrum and we now know that her being upset probably isn't a trigger.
We have even found a babysitter that we have gotten to know gradually and had our first date night since my mom was here. It was a nice, brief time out for the first time and good for us.
All in all, it isn't easy living with the "what if" in the back of my head all the time, but I refuse to let Epilepsy scare me from having the most normal life possible for me and my family. Shrimpy deserves that, and so do we.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Two Weeks in the NICU
Now that Shrimpy is a little over one month old, gaining weight consistently (4000 grams last week!), screaming at her sneezes, grunting at her hiccups, vocalizing and catching our eyes with hers- our stay in the NICU seems so long ago!
It all started in the middle of the night on Sunday the 19th. I was holding her in bed, trying to get her to calm down from crying to feed, when she seemed to have a fit, getting quite upset (it seemed to me), and then falling asleep. Exhausted, I decided to try later and put her in her co-sleeper and slept myself. Surprisingly, she didn't wake up again, and we changed her diaper when we woke up at 8, where she had another fit, then fell into a deep sleep. Broom and I found it odd, but had no idea what was going on, and knew the midwife was going to visit us at 10. While we waited, Shrimpy was too tired to nurse.
When the midwife arrived and I told her about Shrimpy's refusal to nurse (and she had been such a vacuum suction-feeder prior!), she looked concerned and said that she couldn't go that long without eating- and we explained that we couldn't get her to feed. While the midwife was holding her, she had another fit- after which she told us she was going to call the hospital to tell them that we were coming and that she was also writing the admissions desk a letter about her observations- all the while staying quite calm but making clear that we needed to leave immediately.
The 5 minute drive was hell- Broom drove well, though- considering this was her 2nd nerve-wracking drive in a few days, just a week after getting her license. The admissions desk was nice though, getting us into a room really quickly, despite the fact that that nurse was incompetent- failing to realize that we had no clue what was going on, and talking a mile a minute about other things, like weighing Shrimpy daily, taking her temperature and such- and we had no idea whether or not we would be staying! The doctor on call that day was also weird, coming in and picking up Shrimpy without talking to us or introducing herself. Once I realized that she was getting ready to leave the room with her I stopped her with "Excuse me- the nurse said that the doctor would be coming in to examine her?!?". To which she replied "Oh, yes, that's me, I guess I should have introduced myself."
That shift failed to ask us what we saw and why we were there, but did hook her up to sensors measuring her breathing, heart, and oxygen saturation and putting in an IV to rehydrate her. After several requests, I was shown where I could pump, since I wanted to get my milk coming in as soon as possible. Only after we asked did they ask if we were ok giving her formula until my milk came in- of course, giving her anything I could pump first.
During the first shift, she had a few episodes, during which we rang the incompetent nurse- but no one seemed to believe us! Unfortunately, at night, Shrimpy had an episode every hour- and I rang the nurses every time, even though doubt was still there- but eventually, the nurses saw an episode and decided to wake the weird doctor, and explained that it was seizures. At that point, the doctor finally decided to check for head trauma, which came back clear.
In the morning, (Shrimpy had been seizing all night on a regular basis), she had another seizure right when the doctor's had started their rounds- including the head doctors. Luckily, all 7 of them were able to see her have a seizure, and they ordered that she be given meds via IV to stop them. The meds made her even more lethargic, but gave her peace.
In the coming days, a multitude of tests were run to see what could be causing all of this. As a precaution, she received antibiotics since some of the lab work took a while to get back. Each and every test came back negative, and we tried to get as much skin-to-skin time as possible, learning to navigate all of the wires and her incubator like experts. With time, the medical team (who was excellent, with the exception of the team working when we were admitted) came to the conclusion (which could only be made by the process of elimination) that she was having benign infant seizures. My mom did research for me while we were there, and discovered that there are several women in our family that have had the same thing.
They switched Shrimpy to a less harsh drug, even though I still had to wake her to feed- mostly from the bottle, as she didn't have enough energy to feed from the breast. Luckily, my milk came in on Tuesday the 21st, and I had her exclusively on breast milk by Thursday. In that week, they even put us in a normal ward for an evening- but Shrimpy had mild seizures all night that night, and a few where she couldn't breathe. Her longest seizure yet, which happened after a nice bath and feeding from the breast, was one where she turned blue around the mouth, causing me to start screaming like a banshee (something along the lines of "get my baby some fucking oxygen!!!"). Broom took her from me (we always tried to hold or at least touch her during her seizures as a comfort measure) and screamed back at me to get me to calm down.
At that point, we were promptly re-admitted to the NICU, where they spent the next few days trying to get her meds right. Luckily, after being re-admitted to the NICU, she only had 2 more seizures where her breathing was an issue. Two meds, administered twice a day turned out to be the right combination for her. Her last seizure was the 26th, and within a week of them keeping her meds steady, she developed a regular wake/sleep pattern, although we still keep an eye on her.
After being home a week, the midwife and I worked on getting me off of the medical grade breast pump (I had too much milk) and purely using Shrimpy's cues- and it worked! In about a month, she has another EEG to see if her brain is still seizing. If not, then we will wean her off of her medication. A week after that, she has an echo cardiogram to see if the normal, newborn "heart hole" that hadn't closed for her yet (the midwife said that she has seen this with babies who have been under stress) is now closed.
Her two weeks in the NICU were some of the hardest of my life- and I don't think I have ever cried that much- ever. Watching her small body be in so much pain (after some of the seizures, she would whimper- talk about breaking your heart!) and not be able to do anything about it was extremely difficult. I would have gladly switched places with her ten times over- but we couldn't. She is such a strong girl! And Broom and I were thrown into the deep end of the parenting pool- and realized, that if we could do this, we were gonna be fine. Our relationship seems to have grown even deeper through that family trauma, and we were able to alternate who was the strong one, while keeping our spirits up when we could. We kept an eye on one another, and after I had spent 4 nights in the hospital with Shrimpy, Broom convinced me that we needed to alternate so that I didn't lose my shit. It was a good call.
Despite everything, I am grateful for the following: that, if our little girl has to have a sickness, that it is one that doesn't leave any damage (and if it does turn out to be epilepsy, that is manageable, too!), for a health care system that is excellent (all of her care is at no cost to us), for a relationship as strong as ours, and for family and friends the world over! We asked for positive thoughts and prayers and wow- were they given. I really, truly believe that they helped, and am so glad that we all got showered with that positivity. Our Shrimpy has quite the fan club- as she should, since she is incredibly adorable!
Once this is even more behind us, I will be even more at ease- but it is pretty neat how my brain has been able to regularly forget and not worry all the time- even though we both keep a close eye on her.
All in all, we are a very lucky family.
It all started in the middle of the night on Sunday the 19th. I was holding her in bed, trying to get her to calm down from crying to feed, when she seemed to have a fit, getting quite upset (it seemed to me), and then falling asleep. Exhausted, I decided to try later and put her in her co-sleeper and slept myself. Surprisingly, she didn't wake up again, and we changed her diaper when we woke up at 8, where she had another fit, then fell into a deep sleep. Broom and I found it odd, but had no idea what was going on, and knew the midwife was going to visit us at 10. While we waited, Shrimpy was too tired to nurse.
When the midwife arrived and I told her about Shrimpy's refusal to nurse (and she had been such a vacuum suction-feeder prior!), she looked concerned and said that she couldn't go that long without eating- and we explained that we couldn't get her to feed. While the midwife was holding her, she had another fit- after which she told us she was going to call the hospital to tell them that we were coming and that she was also writing the admissions desk a letter about her observations- all the while staying quite calm but making clear that we needed to leave immediately.
The 5 minute drive was hell- Broom drove well, though- considering this was her 2nd nerve-wracking drive in a few days, just a week after getting her license. The admissions desk was nice though, getting us into a room really quickly, despite the fact that that nurse was incompetent- failing to realize that we had no clue what was going on, and talking a mile a minute about other things, like weighing Shrimpy daily, taking her temperature and such- and we had no idea whether or not we would be staying! The doctor on call that day was also weird, coming in and picking up Shrimpy without talking to us or introducing herself. Once I realized that she was getting ready to leave the room with her I stopped her with "Excuse me- the nurse said that the doctor would be coming in to examine her?!?". To which she replied "Oh, yes, that's me, I guess I should have introduced myself."
That shift failed to ask us what we saw and why we were there, but did hook her up to sensors measuring her breathing, heart, and oxygen saturation and putting in an IV to rehydrate her. After several requests, I was shown where I could pump, since I wanted to get my milk coming in as soon as possible. Only after we asked did they ask if we were ok giving her formula until my milk came in- of course, giving her anything I could pump first.
During the first shift, she had a few episodes, during which we rang the incompetent nurse- but no one seemed to believe us! Unfortunately, at night, Shrimpy had an episode every hour- and I rang the nurses every time, even though doubt was still there- but eventually, the nurses saw an episode and decided to wake the weird doctor, and explained that it was seizures. At that point, the doctor finally decided to check for head trauma, which came back clear.
In the morning, (Shrimpy had been seizing all night on a regular basis), she had another seizure right when the doctor's had started their rounds- including the head doctors. Luckily, all 7 of them were able to see her have a seizure, and they ordered that she be given meds via IV to stop them. The meds made her even more lethargic, but gave her peace.
In the coming days, a multitude of tests were run to see what could be causing all of this. As a precaution, she received antibiotics since some of the lab work took a while to get back. Each and every test came back negative, and we tried to get as much skin-to-skin time as possible, learning to navigate all of the wires and her incubator like experts. With time, the medical team (who was excellent, with the exception of the team working when we were admitted) came to the conclusion (which could only be made by the process of elimination) that she was having benign infant seizures. My mom did research for me while we were there, and discovered that there are several women in our family that have had the same thing.
They switched Shrimpy to a less harsh drug, even though I still had to wake her to feed- mostly from the bottle, as she didn't have enough energy to feed from the breast. Luckily, my milk came in on Tuesday the 21st, and I had her exclusively on breast milk by Thursday. In that week, they even put us in a normal ward for an evening- but Shrimpy had mild seizures all night that night, and a few where she couldn't breathe. Her longest seizure yet, which happened after a nice bath and feeding from the breast, was one where she turned blue around the mouth, causing me to start screaming like a banshee (something along the lines of "get my baby some fucking oxygen!!!"). Broom took her from me (we always tried to hold or at least touch her during her seizures as a comfort measure) and screamed back at me to get me to calm down.
At that point, we were promptly re-admitted to the NICU, where they spent the next few days trying to get her meds right. Luckily, after being re-admitted to the NICU, she only had 2 more seizures where her breathing was an issue. Two meds, administered twice a day turned out to be the right combination for her. Her last seizure was the 26th, and within a week of them keeping her meds steady, she developed a regular wake/sleep pattern, although we still keep an eye on her.
After being home a week, the midwife and I worked on getting me off of the medical grade breast pump (I had too much milk) and purely using Shrimpy's cues- and it worked! In about a month, she has another EEG to see if her brain is still seizing. If not, then we will wean her off of her medication. A week after that, she has an echo cardiogram to see if the normal, newborn "heart hole" that hadn't closed for her yet (the midwife said that she has seen this with babies who have been under stress) is now closed.
Her two weeks in the NICU were some of the hardest of my life- and I don't think I have ever cried that much- ever. Watching her small body be in so much pain (after some of the seizures, she would whimper- talk about breaking your heart!) and not be able to do anything about it was extremely difficult. I would have gladly switched places with her ten times over- but we couldn't. She is such a strong girl! And Broom and I were thrown into the deep end of the parenting pool- and realized, that if we could do this, we were gonna be fine. Our relationship seems to have grown even deeper through that family trauma, and we were able to alternate who was the strong one, while keeping our spirits up when we could. We kept an eye on one another, and after I had spent 4 nights in the hospital with Shrimpy, Broom convinced me that we needed to alternate so that I didn't lose my shit. It was a good call.
Despite everything, I am grateful for the following: that, if our little girl has to have a sickness, that it is one that doesn't leave any damage (and if it does turn out to be epilepsy, that is manageable, too!), for a health care system that is excellent (all of her care is at no cost to us), for a relationship as strong as ours, and for family and friends the world over! We asked for positive thoughts and prayers and wow- were they given. I really, truly believe that they helped, and am so glad that we all got showered with that positivity. Our Shrimpy has quite the fan club- as she should, since she is incredibly adorable!
Once this is even more behind us, I will be even more at ease- but it is pretty neat how my brain has been able to regularly forget and not worry all the time- even though we both keep a close eye on her.
All in all, we are a very lucky family.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Almost time for baby
The last month has been delightfully calm- that is, after my gyno attempted to put me on limited physical activity. With this whole split prenatal care between my gyno and my midwives, it has been interesting to see how modern medicine (in my opinion) attempts to take all the risk and responsibility and "minimize" it (which isn't really possible, anyway). The idea of questioning the reasoning behind some prescriptions and requests for care seems novel for some doctors, and we had to get rather insistent that I did not want to take antibiotics for a small, very common infection so close to birth and that I did not want to have fetal heart tones recorded every 2 weeks for 30 minutes at a time. After we got through all that, I was able to breathe more deeply and relax, which has been just what I needed!
Now, we only have to wait until midnight on the 1st to be able to have Shrimpy at the birthing center, due to their new insurance for 2014 (otherwise, the clock would have started this week at 37 weeks and not at 38). Since I had some bloody show on Friday and have been having irregular contractions and shooting vag pain when walking, I have been taking it easy in the hopes of Shrimpy not starting the show earlier. I have been feeling pretty good, though, and being sure to nap during the day since sleeping can be hard between the hip & back pain and going to the bathroom so much.
I never thought that being off for so long before baby gets here would go by so quickly, but I have been really enjoying it! I've been teaching myself how to crochet, doing sewing projects and crafts, as well as reading and cooking. Broom and I have been doing our best to enjoy the calm before all of the changes, although we are both getting eager to meet baby! I have been able to talk to my mom more since I've been off (due to the time difference), and she has been really supportive, which is lovely. My homesickness tends to flair up around the holidays, and this year was no different, but it is what it is (Although we are seriously thinking about making a 5-year plan to move to Canada.).
Christmas with die Mutti was OK, although she is easier to deal with when I have had wine, lol. At least she only stayed 1 night, and then Broom and I could relax after she left. We have already taken down the decorations to have that out of the way in case baby comes, and are really looking forward to a quiet New Year's.
Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment, and I expect it to be pretty uneventful. I figure I will go on longer walks starting on the 1st and see when my baby and my body are ready for birth.
2013 was a great year, but we are both really looking forward to meeting this little one!
Now, we only have to wait until midnight on the 1st to be able to have Shrimpy at the birthing center, due to their new insurance for 2014 (otherwise, the clock would have started this week at 37 weeks and not at 38). Since I had some bloody show on Friday and have been having irregular contractions and shooting vag pain when walking, I have been taking it easy in the hopes of Shrimpy not starting the show earlier. I have been feeling pretty good, though, and being sure to nap during the day since sleeping can be hard between the hip & back pain and going to the bathroom so much.
I never thought that being off for so long before baby gets here would go by so quickly, but I have been really enjoying it! I've been teaching myself how to crochet, doing sewing projects and crafts, as well as reading and cooking. Broom and I have been doing our best to enjoy the calm before all of the changes, although we are both getting eager to meet baby! I have been able to talk to my mom more since I've been off (due to the time difference), and she has been really supportive, which is lovely. My homesickness tends to flair up around the holidays, and this year was no different, but it is what it is (Although we are seriously thinking about making a 5-year plan to move to Canada.).
Christmas with die Mutti was OK, although she is easier to deal with when I have had wine, lol. At least she only stayed 1 night, and then Broom and I could relax after she left. We have already taken down the decorations to have that out of the way in case baby comes, and are really looking forward to a quiet New Year's.
Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment, and I expect it to be pretty uneventful. I figure I will go on longer walks starting on the 1st and see when my baby and my body are ready for birth.
2013 was a great year, but we are both really looking forward to meeting this little one!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Could be worse, could be better
Things are shaping up in Shrimpy's room, and once we buy a mattress and a car seat/stroller combo, we will have everything on our "must have" list of items! Sure, there is plenty that I would like to have by the time baby is here, but once these "musts" are out of the way, I think I will breathe much easier.
Last weekend, Broom's brother and nephew were here and helped by installing and securing everything that we had in that regard, and it was really nice to get so much done in such a short amount of time even though I was really exhausted for 2 days afterwards. Their generosity and how quickly they did everthing is amazing and wonderful!
On the health front, my first diabetes test was messed up by the lab, which meant I had to do another one. The 2nd one was positive, so I had to do a follow-up test that is longer and involved me looking like an addict afterwards since the incredibly nice nurse had trouble finding my veins. The last of the 3 blood draws that they did ended up being positive, so now, I am automatically labeled as a gestational diabetic.
The midwife didn't seem that concerned when I told her that the first one was positive, so I didn't think to ask what would happen if the 2nd one was positive. My gyno said that it is standard that gestational diabetics give birth in a clinic, although she didn't say it wasn't allowed. At our ultrasound today, Shrimpy was completely healthy and everything was normal- nothing was bigger, which is a common side effect. I am getting sent to an organ scan to make sure that the baby isn't under stress, so I am hoping that between that and the fact that since I got the glucometer yesterday that everything has been normal with my sugar, that my gyno and midwife will let me have the baby outside of the hospital in the birthing house.
I know that only time will tell, and that the main goal here is for me and the baby to be healthy, but I would prefer to have the baby in the birthing house if it is ok from a health perspective. Once I have a week of OK values, I am hoping that I am off the hook. The test itself I find to be a bit one-sided since the diabetes doctor said that 1 high number could have been from stress.
Today, I also brought up that I have had spotting 3 times since Friday, and 2 of those times were not combined with any strenuous activity whatsoever. It turns out the irritated spot on my cervix that I had has grown considerably and it causing occasional bleeding. For the next 11 days, I will take 2 different types of vaginal suppositories (one to calm it down, followed by one to improve the flora and fauna) to hopefully clear it up and then we will see. Once I am through with the suppositories, I am supposed to call if I have any bleeding.
Due to me cutting out all extra sugar, I have also lost some weight, but baby is a great size, that is good!
We will see how things develop, and if I get the whole pricking my finger down so that it works (with enough blood for the sensor) every time. I will do whatever I have to do for this little one, but I am sure hoping for my desired way of giving birth- but only time will tell- baby is calling all of the shots!
I am still doing well in trusting my body and my baby as well as not taking this whole being able to have a baby thing for granted, which is helping me a lot.
Last weekend, Broom's brother and nephew were here and helped by installing and securing everything that we had in that regard, and it was really nice to get so much done in such a short amount of time even though I was really exhausted for 2 days afterwards. Their generosity and how quickly they did everthing is amazing and wonderful!
On the health front, my first diabetes test was messed up by the lab, which meant I had to do another one. The 2nd one was positive, so I had to do a follow-up test that is longer and involved me looking like an addict afterwards since the incredibly nice nurse had trouble finding my veins. The last of the 3 blood draws that they did ended up being positive, so now, I am automatically labeled as a gestational diabetic.
The midwife didn't seem that concerned when I told her that the first one was positive, so I didn't think to ask what would happen if the 2nd one was positive. My gyno said that it is standard that gestational diabetics give birth in a clinic, although she didn't say it wasn't allowed. At our ultrasound today, Shrimpy was completely healthy and everything was normal- nothing was bigger, which is a common side effect. I am getting sent to an organ scan to make sure that the baby isn't under stress, so I am hoping that between that and the fact that since I got the glucometer yesterday that everything has been normal with my sugar, that my gyno and midwife will let me have the baby outside of the hospital in the birthing house.
I know that only time will tell, and that the main goal here is for me and the baby to be healthy, but I would prefer to have the baby in the birthing house if it is ok from a health perspective. Once I have a week of OK values, I am hoping that I am off the hook. The test itself I find to be a bit one-sided since the diabetes doctor said that 1 high number could have been from stress.
Today, I also brought up that I have had spotting 3 times since Friday, and 2 of those times were not combined with any strenuous activity whatsoever. It turns out the irritated spot on my cervix that I had has grown considerably and it causing occasional bleeding. For the next 11 days, I will take 2 different types of vaginal suppositories (one to calm it down, followed by one to improve the flora and fauna) to hopefully clear it up and then we will see. Once I am through with the suppositories, I am supposed to call if I have any bleeding.
Due to me cutting out all extra sugar, I have also lost some weight, but baby is a great size, that is good!
We will see how things develop, and if I get the whole pricking my finger down so that it works (with enough blood for the sensor) every time. I will do whatever I have to do for this little one, but I am sure hoping for my desired way of giving birth- but only time will tell- baby is calling all of the shots!
I am still doing well in trusting my body and my baby as well as not taking this whole being able to have a baby thing for granted, which is helping me a lot.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Tempus Fugit
I am so thoroughly in the moment and enjoying being pregnant, that every time I think of blogging, I think that it hasn't been "that long" and then I see that another month has flown by.
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Getting Serious
After seeing on my FertilityFriend pregnancy countdown that I have entered the 6th (of 10) months, and the viability timeframe starting this week, I finally feel like we need to start getting serious with making room for baby.
Our appointment at the birthing house was wonderful, and we are both now sure that we want to have Shrimpy there. They do the following things that made it a no-brainer for us:
- Cord cutting after the placenta has been birthed
- They leave the baby with us, doing any weighing, etc. in the bed with us- but only after the first latch and breastfeeding session
- Baby is not washed, and they encourage rubbing in the vernix to moisturize
- Vitamin K is only given for births where they feel that some trauma might have been experienced- and then only in drop form- usually a homeopathic alternative is only recommended occasionally.
- Cervical checks and all other interventions are only done with permission- save for emergencies, of course.
So, we are only doing the "bigger checks" that include testing for gestational diabetes as well as ultrasounds with the doctor, the rest is done by the midwives at the birthing house. Our last ultrasound went great, all organs and everything were normal- the only thing we couldn't check were the 4 heart chambers, as Shrimpy (whose sex will remain a surprise) was mooning us.
Now, this was the cutest butt EVER, but we couldn't see the heart- so we are going back tomorrow for that, and combining it with my diabetes test. I am excited that they are checking up on it, and hopefully baby will have a good position for a picture for us :)
So, slowly but surely, I am going to start taking inventory of the things we have, so that we can see what we still need to get, and soon, we will be picking out a few pieces of furniture.
One thing is sure though, the most important things are already in place!
Our appointment at the birthing house was wonderful, and we are both now sure that we want to have Shrimpy there. They do the following things that made it a no-brainer for us:
- Cord cutting after the placenta has been birthed
- They leave the baby with us, doing any weighing, etc. in the bed with us- but only after the first latch and breastfeeding session
- Baby is not washed, and they encourage rubbing in the vernix to moisturize
- Vitamin K is only given for births where they feel that some trauma might have been experienced- and then only in drop form- usually a homeopathic alternative is only recommended occasionally.
- Cervical checks and all other interventions are only done with permission- save for emergencies, of course.
So, we are only doing the "bigger checks" that include testing for gestational diabetes as well as ultrasounds with the doctor, the rest is done by the midwives at the birthing house. Our last ultrasound went great, all organs and everything were normal- the only thing we couldn't check were the 4 heart chambers, as Shrimpy (whose sex will remain a surprise) was mooning us.
Now, this was the cutest butt EVER, but we couldn't see the heart- so we are going back tomorrow for that, and combining it with my diabetes test. I am excited that they are checking up on it, and hopefully baby will have a good position for a picture for us :)
So, slowly but surely, I am going to start taking inventory of the things we have, so that we can see what we still need to get, and soon, we will be picking out a few pieces of furniture.
One thing is sure though, the most important things are already in place!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Awesomeness all around
Vacation was busy and still relaxing at the same time!
I really loved seeing everyone and spending time with them while sleeping in and just being.
The city that we visited with my mom and sister was really awesome. It has a real European feel, and everything that we are looking for in a place to live: health care, public transportation, culture, and a body of water. It is more expensive than what we are used to now for cost of living, but salaries would be higher too. We will be using materials we gathered to estimate how much we would need to move and how much we would need to earn to make it plausible to live there. If we do decide to go through with it, it is more like a 5+ year plan, but it is good to really consider it- although the coolness of Europe and the proximity to other countries would be really hard to give up.
Spending time in my hometown was great- some friends and I got together and had an excellent evening together, and telling my family about Shrimpy at the reunion was great fun! As sweet as they are, none of them wanted to assume that I was pregnant in case I had just put on weight! Despite the health problems my family is facing (an aunt and uncle of mine are both battling stage 4 cancer, another uncle was in a massive car accident that made him, at least for now, a quadriplegic, and my mom's ex had a bladder blockage that they are currently testing for cancer), we were still a rather upbeat group- and I know that we really support one another in hard times like these.
This week I am at my work's American headquarters and catching up on everything that happened while I was on vacation and working on projects. We are also doing interviews for my position, which is exciting and filled with lots of hope and expectations. There have been a lot of comments made about it being hard to replace me and the value of my position which makes me feel really good.
My coworkers here also threw me an early baby shower (since I won't be back until post baby)! It was something they brought up right after I announced it to them, and I am just overwhelmed by kindness and acceptance. They have given our growing family such thoughtful gifts and I can't wait to show Broom all of the nice things that we have received.
Today I also got to meet up with a good friend of mine and her family for breakfast. My delayed flight on Sunday made that meet-up impossible, but we made breakfast work, and they even picked me up from my hotel and dropped me off at work so that we would have the most time possible to visit with one another. She is also expecting, and we are exactly two weeks apart- it is so lovely to be going though this "together" (at least virtually!) and it was great to see them and catch up- although there is never enough time! (Thank you! And thank you for breakfast!)
I can't wait to get home and back to our apartment, and I can't help but be extremely grateful for everything right now- even with the medical hardships in my family, the network behind us all is amazingly awesome!
I really loved seeing everyone and spending time with them while sleeping in and just being.
The city that we visited with my mom and sister was really awesome. It has a real European feel, and everything that we are looking for in a place to live: health care, public transportation, culture, and a body of water. It is more expensive than what we are used to now for cost of living, but salaries would be higher too. We will be using materials we gathered to estimate how much we would need to move and how much we would need to earn to make it plausible to live there. If we do decide to go through with it, it is more like a 5+ year plan, but it is good to really consider it- although the coolness of Europe and the proximity to other countries would be really hard to give up.
Spending time in my hometown was great- some friends and I got together and had an excellent evening together, and telling my family about Shrimpy at the reunion was great fun! As sweet as they are, none of them wanted to assume that I was pregnant in case I had just put on weight! Despite the health problems my family is facing (an aunt and uncle of mine are both battling stage 4 cancer, another uncle was in a massive car accident that made him, at least for now, a quadriplegic, and my mom's ex had a bladder blockage that they are currently testing for cancer), we were still a rather upbeat group- and I know that we really support one another in hard times like these.
This week I am at my work's American headquarters and catching up on everything that happened while I was on vacation and working on projects. We are also doing interviews for my position, which is exciting and filled with lots of hope and expectations. There have been a lot of comments made about it being hard to replace me and the value of my position which makes me feel really good.
My coworkers here also threw me an early baby shower (since I won't be back until post baby)! It was something they brought up right after I announced it to them, and I am just overwhelmed by kindness and acceptance. They have given our growing family such thoughtful gifts and I can't wait to show Broom all of the nice things that we have received.
Today I also got to meet up with a good friend of mine and her family for breakfast. My delayed flight on Sunday made that meet-up impossible, but we made breakfast work, and they even picked me up from my hotel and dropped me off at work so that we would have the most time possible to visit with one another. She is also expecting, and we are exactly two weeks apart- it is so lovely to be going though this "together" (at least virtually!) and it was great to see them and catch up- although there is never enough time! (Thank you! And thank you for breakfast!)
I can't wait to get home and back to our apartment, and I can't help but be extremely grateful for everything right now- even with the medical hardships in my family, the network behind us all is amazingly awesome!
Saturday, July 13, 2013
VayCay!
So, I have made it through my 4-day training in Chicago!
I am now certified in training adults! A great thing to know/have and for my CV. The days were long, and the prep for the practice and the competency demonstration (which determined if we were certified or not) of course took its time, but I am really proud of myself.
In other work news, they have posted by position and the company helping us with the search has already received 40 applications, 10 of which are qualified. Since we officially started the search, and the timing of this trip was right after the "safer time", I had to pick a group of people to tell via email in order to keep the rumor wild-fire at bay. More than half of the people I sent it to sent congratulatory emails in response, which was a great feeling. When I am at our corporate offices at the end of the month, the US-branch of my department is even throwing me a baby shower! It is so nice to "feel the love" and if anyone has had any inappropriate thoughts regarding how I got pregnant, it hasn't made its way through to me. I am anxious to see if there are any questions surrounding it, but I figure I will just mention that we had medical help, and the rest was the sperm and the egg's doing. All in all, I am bowled over by their support.
In (not really) shocking news, it turns out the longer flights while preggo do not agree with me or Shrimpy, meaning I felt nauseated, dizzy, and generally shitty on the way over here. It was not fun being so miserable the whole time, but my homeopathic remedies at least took the edge off. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the flight back over the pond. I will be avoiding any further flights until Shrimpy is here.
Since I have been sitting in a classroom environment all week, and the hotel has a pool, I have really enjoyed swimming! I know that this isn't surprising either, but it just felt so good to be weightless. I would like to continue swimming once back home, but am still searching for a tankini top (the bottoms I found at Target, with a nice skirt, since I have some nice new stretch marks on my thighs- but the tops they had were not enough as my cup overfloweth- literally).
Tomorrow I am off to explore a city that Broom and I are debating moving to one day. My mom, sister, and her kids are coming along (they are driving up to meet me), so I am excited to see everyone and spend quality time with them all. I am also really looking forward to our upcoming family reunion and telling everyone the happy news!
So, I'm not sure if I will write while on vacation, but if not, I will be sure to let you know how it went once I am back.
Have a nice weekend!
I am now certified in training adults! A great thing to know/have and for my CV. The days were long, and the prep for the practice and the competency demonstration (which determined if we were certified or not) of course took its time, but I am really proud of myself.
In other work news, they have posted by position and the company helping us with the search has already received 40 applications, 10 of which are qualified. Since we officially started the search, and the timing of this trip was right after the "safer time", I had to pick a group of people to tell via email in order to keep the rumor wild-fire at bay. More than half of the people I sent it to sent congratulatory emails in response, which was a great feeling. When I am at our corporate offices at the end of the month, the US-branch of my department is even throwing me a baby shower! It is so nice to "feel the love" and if anyone has had any inappropriate thoughts regarding how I got pregnant, it hasn't made its way through to me. I am anxious to see if there are any questions surrounding it, but I figure I will just mention that we had medical help, and the rest was the sperm and the egg's doing. All in all, I am bowled over by their support.
In (not really) shocking news, it turns out the longer flights while preggo do not agree with me or Shrimpy, meaning I felt nauseated, dizzy, and generally shitty on the way over here. It was not fun being so miserable the whole time, but my homeopathic remedies at least took the edge off. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the flight back over the pond. I will be avoiding any further flights until Shrimpy is here.
Since I have been sitting in a classroom environment all week, and the hotel has a pool, I have really enjoyed swimming! I know that this isn't surprising either, but it just felt so good to be weightless. I would like to continue swimming once back home, but am still searching for a tankini top (the bottoms I found at Target, with a nice skirt, since I have some nice new stretch marks on my thighs- but the tops they had were not enough as my cup overfloweth- literally).
Tomorrow I am off to explore a city that Broom and I are debating moving to one day. My mom, sister, and her kids are coming along (they are driving up to meet me), so I am excited to see everyone and spend quality time with them all. I am also really looking forward to our upcoming family reunion and telling everyone the happy news!
So, I'm not sure if I will write while on vacation, but if not, I will be sure to let you know how it went once I am back.
Have a nice weekend!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
(Almost) Time to leave on a jet plane!
Well, Sunday is the day I go to the US for almost 4 weeks! Crazy!
I am starting out in Chicago for a 1-week training, then we are visiting Toronto to see if we would like living there, and then I am spending time with my family before another 4 days of business at the end. I am excited and scared, and hoping that I feel ok while I am gone and don't catch any bugs.
Luckily, all of my appointments have been going well! They reduced my thyroid meds, and our 1st official ultrasound (the one to confirm the pregnancy doesn't count) went perfectly!
The baby measured the right size, the heart was still beating strongly (we got to hear it over the dr.'s doppler), and since Shrimpy was sleeping- my dr. got him or her to wake up and move.
It was amazing to see those little arms and long legs flail and wave as he/she was surprised awake by the gentle pushes on my belly. I felt a little bad, waking our child up, but it was great to see the movement before he/she settled back down to a more comfortable looking sleeping position (head more or less level with the body rather than feet up in the air). The dr. could even recognize that the baby's digestive system is functioning based on the stomach, and at one point, we saw the brain, too. Completely amazing.
We couldn't be happier that we have reached the 2nd trimester and we are keeping everything crossed that things continue to go well!
Since things did go so well, we went ahead and told Broom's brothers (who, reacted ok- a little weirdly, but ok), as well as my big bosses at work. Apparently, based on the meeting invites, they thought I was going to quit and were freaking out. One was surprised, the other relieved. It is nice to have it out now, and we will begin looking for my replacement any day now.
It is still hitting Broom and I that having this baby means coming out to even more people, over and over again. At least, so far, reactions haven't been bad, and Broom's mom seems to be really excited now, which is a little scary and nice at the same time. Babies do sometimes make people easier to relate to, so we will see.
Now, off to see if I can figure out how to shimmy my legs into the really serious thigh-high compression stockings I bought...
I am starting out in Chicago for a 1-week training, then we are visiting Toronto to see if we would like living there, and then I am spending time with my family before another 4 days of business at the end. I am excited and scared, and hoping that I feel ok while I am gone and don't catch any bugs.
Luckily, all of my appointments have been going well! They reduced my thyroid meds, and our 1st official ultrasound (the one to confirm the pregnancy doesn't count) went perfectly!
The baby measured the right size, the heart was still beating strongly (we got to hear it over the dr.'s doppler), and since Shrimpy was sleeping- my dr. got him or her to wake up and move.
It was amazing to see those little arms and long legs flail and wave as he/she was surprised awake by the gentle pushes on my belly. I felt a little bad, waking our child up, but it was great to see the movement before he/she settled back down to a more comfortable looking sleeping position (head more or less level with the body rather than feet up in the air). The dr. could even recognize that the baby's digestive system is functioning based on the stomach, and at one point, we saw the brain, too. Completely amazing.
We couldn't be happier that we have reached the 2nd trimester and we are keeping everything crossed that things continue to go well!
Since things did go so well, we went ahead and told Broom's brothers (who, reacted ok- a little weirdly, but ok), as well as my big bosses at work. Apparently, based on the meeting invites, they thought I was going to quit and were freaking out. One was surprised, the other relieved. It is nice to have it out now, and we will begin looking for my replacement any day now.
It is still hitting Broom and I that having this baby means coming out to even more people, over and over again. At least, so far, reactions haven't been bad, and Broom's mom seems to be really excited now, which is a little scary and nice at the same time. Babies do sometimes make people easier to relate to, so we will see.
Now, off to see if I can figure out how to shimmy my legs into the really serious thigh-high compression stockings I bought...
Thursday, May 23, 2013
6w2d
Luckily, with each passing day, our ultrasound appointment gets closer!
I am really eager, nervous, and excited to make sure that everything is ok and to confirm how many "Shrimpy/ies" there are in there. Some days I cannot ignore the pregnancy symptoms, while on others I feel like I should feel more in order to be sure that everything is ok. I used my last digital and the display went up to 2-3 weeks so I am glad that it my hCG went up!
All in all, I have been feeling pretty good- I've been having: nausea, bloating, heartburn, sore hips, and fatigue. When the nausea hits at work, it's either been mild, or I've been able to breathe through it. I've had a couple of mood swings / bouts of weepiness to boot, mostly for non-reasons, as stuff like that tends to be :)
I've had a hard time not feeling like I look pregnant (due to the bloat) all the time and wanting to tell people. We will decide when to tell my family after the ultrasound and I will probably tell my work in week 12. Broom's family will be kept in the dark the longest to maintain our sanity.
We went to the largest annual lesbian gathering in Germany last weekend and it was awesome! I couldn't do as much as I wanted to do due to my fatigue, but it was such a touching and rejuvenating experience to be around so many lesbians that looked so different (butch, femme, androgynous, all sorts of skin tones and ability levels). I am really glad that we went!
13 days before we know more about how my aquarium inhabitant(s) are doing!
I am really eager, nervous, and excited to make sure that everything is ok and to confirm how many "Shrimpy/ies" there are in there. Some days I cannot ignore the pregnancy symptoms, while on others I feel like I should feel more in order to be sure that everything is ok. I used my last digital and the display went up to 2-3 weeks so I am glad that it my hCG went up!
All in all, I have been feeling pretty good- I've been having: nausea, bloating, heartburn, sore hips, and fatigue. When the nausea hits at work, it's either been mild, or I've been able to breathe through it. I've had a couple of mood swings / bouts of weepiness to boot, mostly for non-reasons, as stuff like that tends to be :)
I've had a hard time not feeling like I look pregnant (due to the bloat) all the time and wanting to tell people. We will decide when to tell my family after the ultrasound and I will probably tell my work in week 12. Broom's family will be kept in the dark the longest to maintain our sanity.
We went to the largest annual lesbian gathering in Germany last weekend and it was awesome! I couldn't do as much as I wanted to do due to my fatigue, but it was such a touching and rejuvenating experience to be around so many lesbians that looked so different (butch, femme, androgynous, all sorts of skin tones and ability levels). I am really glad that we went!
13 days before we know more about how my aquarium inhabitant(s) are doing!
Monday, February 11, 2013
I think we can declare last week a crap week
Last week kicked my ass.
It started off with a bunch of work crap going wrong, and whole lot of stress that I did not deal with well. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, a lot of my work had mistakes, and I felt like I was seriously done with feeling like we weren't getting anywhere.
Admittedly, I know I am undergoing hormone treatments and gearing up for my next cycle and insem, but it still felt like too much to handle- more than I was capable of dealing with. So, when Broom asked me about my day on Wednesday, I burst into inconsolable tears, and then again later that same night.
I want to be able to have more than two hobbies (blogging and working out)! Not work 50 hour weeks! Have time to help on strategic projects rather than drowning in a sea of administrative and urgent tasks!
My boss being as awesome as she is, I geared up to talk with her about it on Thursday, and had planned to do so after lunch.
Right before lunch, after running errands in the building where I work, I glanced at my phone. Every email account and digital profile I had contained a message:
"Please call Dad."
Anyone living abroad, or somewhere that you can't get home quickly from knows that this a really bad message. This means bad shit has happened, because good news usually has a larger time window than bad news.
Due to above mentioned awesomeness, I used the office phone and called my Dad at 5 am to find out that my Grandma had passed away that morning.
Her last words were "I'm fine.".
With those words, the amazing life of one of the most consistently-nice people I have had the pleasure of knowing came to an end. 87 years of volunteering, mothering, grandmothering, and being the epitome of a "good person". My family told me that many more people came to the services than they had anticipated, and even the nursing home staff were in tears at the news of her passing (even though I wonder if you ever truly get used to loss).
On Monday, I put a card in the mail for her- a bouquet of flowers on the front, since they are easier to send that way. On Wednesday, it came back because its smaller, unusual shape called for more postage.
Thursday night, I made the tough call not to buy a ticket home for the next day. My family completely understands, but I wish I could be there to grieve with them.
The last time I saw her, Thanksgiving 2012, she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her "15 minutes with you, Grandma". As she was consistently very tired as of late, she asked me 5 minutes later if her time was up yet, but in a way that was more funny than rude. Later on, she looked at my rings, and asked me if I was engaged. When I replied that I was already married, she responded "That's right, Broom." and then was able to state our wedding anniversary, including the year (2010).
Was last week a crap week?
Hell yes.
But you know what my Grandma taught me?
Niceness pays off. And of course, I'll be fine.
It started off with a bunch of work crap going wrong, and whole lot of stress that I did not deal with well. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, a lot of my work had mistakes, and I felt like I was seriously done with feeling like we weren't getting anywhere.
Admittedly, I know I am undergoing hormone treatments and gearing up for my next cycle and insem, but it still felt like too much to handle- more than I was capable of dealing with. So, when Broom asked me about my day on Wednesday, I burst into inconsolable tears, and then again later that same night.
I want to be able to have more than two hobbies (blogging and working out)! Not work 50 hour weeks! Have time to help on strategic projects rather than drowning in a sea of administrative and urgent tasks!
My boss being as awesome as she is, I geared up to talk with her about it on Thursday, and had planned to do so after lunch.
Right before lunch, after running errands in the building where I work, I glanced at my phone. Every email account and digital profile I had contained a message:
"Please call Dad."
Anyone living abroad, or somewhere that you can't get home quickly from knows that this a really bad message. This means bad shit has happened, because good news usually has a larger time window than bad news.
Due to above mentioned awesomeness, I used the office phone and called my Dad at 5 am to find out that my Grandma had passed away that morning.
Her last words were "I'm fine.".
With those words, the amazing life of one of the most consistently-nice people I have had the pleasure of knowing came to an end. 87 years of volunteering, mothering, grandmothering, and being the epitome of a "good person". My family told me that many more people came to the services than they had anticipated, and even the nursing home staff were in tears at the news of her passing (even though I wonder if you ever truly get used to loss).
On Monday, I put a card in the mail for her- a bouquet of flowers on the front, since they are easier to send that way. On Wednesday, it came back because its smaller, unusual shape called for more postage.
Thursday night, I made the tough call not to buy a ticket home for the next day. My family completely understands, but I wish I could be there to grieve with them.
The last time I saw her, Thanksgiving 2012, she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her "15 minutes with you, Grandma". As she was consistently very tired as of late, she asked me 5 minutes later if her time was up yet, but in a way that was more funny than rude. Later on, she looked at my rings, and asked me if I was engaged. When I replied that I was already married, she responded "That's right, Broom." and then was able to state our wedding anniversary, including the year (2010).
Was last week a crap week?
Hell yes.
But you know what my Grandma taught me?
Niceness pays off. And of course, I'll be fine.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Feiertage
Ahh, the holidays!
They can be especially hard in the years that I can't make it home for Christmas, but this year was OK, all things considered. We kept things pretty low-key, and only spent the 24th with family (well, Broom's mom, but that was enough). Since it started off with comments from her that can lead one to run away screaming, we started drinking wine relatively early. That seemed to help, and the evening was even fun, playing monopoly, and me explaining to my somewhat homophobic mother in law all about all of the steps one has to go through in Germany to become pregnant as two women in a civil union.
It was rather interesting, to say the least, and in her subdued state, she couldn't change the subject (or I didn't let her, I don't really remember, come to think of it...).
The next morning was a little rough, which was only magnified by the fact that I caught Broom's cold and had a fever for about a day and a half. I am still carrying it around with me, now without fever. With any luck, I will be done with my coughing and stuffy nose, etc. by New Year's Eve.
For that ever-so-fateful evening (ha), we will be spending the night with 11 other women, 2 of whom we know quite well, and the rest are either acquaintances or strangers, and we are really looking forward to a quiet night with good food and good people.
Enjoy the holidays, Blogosphere!
They can be especially hard in the years that I can't make it home for Christmas, but this year was OK, all things considered. We kept things pretty low-key, and only spent the 24th with family (well, Broom's mom, but that was enough). Since it started off with comments from her that can lead one to run away screaming, we started drinking wine relatively early. That seemed to help, and the evening was even fun, playing monopoly, and me explaining to my somewhat homophobic mother in law all about all of the steps one has to go through in Germany to become pregnant as two women in a civil union.
It was rather interesting, to say the least, and in her subdued state, she couldn't change the subject (or I didn't let her, I don't really remember, come to think of it...).
The next morning was a little rough, which was only magnified by the fact that I caught Broom's cold and had a fever for about a day and a half. I am still carrying it around with me, now without fever. With any luck, I will be done with my coughing and stuffy nose, etc. by New Year's Eve.
For that ever-so-fateful evening (ha), we will be spending the night with 11 other women, 2 of whom we know quite well, and the rest are either acquaintances or strangers, and we are really looking forward to a quiet night with good food and good people.
Enjoy the holidays, Blogosphere!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Winter Wonderland
I came back from a wonderfully relaxing trip seeing my family to a cloud of snow, draped across the German countryside. I was so jet lagged at first, that when we finally did break the cloud cover to land at the bigger airport (before I flew on to my final destination), I thought there was something wrong with the clouds! That is what 4 flights in one "day" will do to you....
Amazingly, I didn't do much on my vacation, but I did soak up time with my family, doing homework with my nieces and being together with my 3 siblings (this was the first time we had all been together since 2009). One of my nieces in the 4th grade had to write someone a letter, and I convinces her to write me one. She asked me to come over to her house after her lice was gone! Luckily, I got a picture in before my sister had her change it. Funny moments like that are those that I really miss. But I am glad that I could really be "there" if that makes sense.
Also prevalent in my visit was explaining to my family how little rights we have, since a majority of them were heavily upset that Obama won. Now, "to each their own" and shit, but my argument to that- especially to my family is:
"Don't you ever want me to be able to live here again? With my wife?"
For many of them, that was enough to finally realize what DOMA truly takes away from me and them (since they say that I don't make it home often enough). Others countered with "Aren't you happy in Germany?"
Where I wanted to scream: SOOOO not the point here, people!!!
It can be hard when those I love don't understand what these laws mean; even though to be fair, I think most of them do not want to take away my rights when they voted for the opposition. However, it can be really trying not to take it personally. This is my life, and they voted to take away my rights- the rights of their daughter, sister, aunt, and cousin.
I can only hope, that in a few years, that they realize how important gay rights are. Generally, I really don't care who they vote for, since they love me the way I am, (although I think if we all supported one another more, our society would be a better one), but on this issue I only have the option to take it personally. I am a one issue voter here, and maybe through my explanations some of my family members will be too.
This issue is my life.
Amazingly, I didn't do much on my vacation, but I did soak up time with my family, doing homework with my nieces and being together with my 3 siblings (this was the first time we had all been together since 2009). One of my nieces in the 4th grade had to write someone a letter, and I convinces her to write me one. She asked me to come over to her house after her lice was gone! Luckily, I got a picture in before my sister had her change it. Funny moments like that are those that I really miss. But I am glad that I could really be "there" if that makes sense.
Also prevalent in my visit was explaining to my family how little rights we have, since a majority of them were heavily upset that Obama won. Now, "to each their own" and shit, but my argument to that- especially to my family is:
"Don't you ever want me to be able to live here again? With my wife?"
For many of them, that was enough to finally realize what DOMA truly takes away from me and them (since they say that I don't make it home often enough). Others countered with "Aren't you happy in Germany?"
Where I wanted to scream: SOOOO not the point here, people!!!
It can be hard when those I love don't understand what these laws mean; even though to be fair, I think most of them do not want to take away my rights when they voted for the opposition. However, it can be really trying not to take it personally. This is my life, and they voted to take away my rights- the rights of their daughter, sister, aunt, and cousin.
I can only hope, that in a few years, that they realize how important gay rights are. Generally, I really don't care who they vote for, since they love me the way I am, (although I think if we all supported one another more, our society would be a better one), but on this issue I only have the option to take it personally. I am a one issue voter here, and maybe through my explanations some of my family members will be too.
This issue is my life.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Third try is not a charm
Well, despite lots of good feelings, my temperature dropped (needs to stay high for pregnancy, drops when you get your period) and my period started. At least it was a clear "no" as my body tends to start periods oddly, which could lead me to belive that it is just implantation spotting. Now I can fly to see my family in the states today knowing the answer and knowing that we did what we could- it was a good, natural try.
Depending on how you look at it, it was our third total try, or our first try after finding out that my thyroid problems probably started up right before our first try without us knowing (the test a month before was fine). Either way, 6 tries is the average, and the more tries we do, the closer we get to a try that works. We have decided to do the next tries naturally as well, so that I can read my body better. I think I owe it to my reproductive system to let it do its thing all on its own, a sign of respect and trust if you will. We are so lucky that we can afford to give my body this chance and not get intimidated by the doctors and their insistance that we use fertility drugs, since multiples aren't really what we are trying for here!
So, I will get on a plane with mixed emotions today, but knowing how lucky we are to be doing this in the first place. It will be easier to have a drink with family than having to come up with excuses about why I cannot drink. On that note, since Christmas in Germany (and in the US, for that matter), is not a "dry" matter, we have decided that it would be less stress to have our next try in Jan. rather than rushing to the gyno right after I get back and seeing if we can get an appointment. This way, the holidays will just have their normal stress, which is quite enough, really.
Happy Thanksgiving, all! I know I have so much to be thankful for, especially my family (which will hopefully be bigger soon), and my dear Broom.
Depending on how you look at it, it was our third total try, or our first try after finding out that my thyroid problems probably started up right before our first try without us knowing (the test a month before was fine). Either way, 6 tries is the average, and the more tries we do, the closer we get to a try that works. We have decided to do the next tries naturally as well, so that I can read my body better. I think I owe it to my reproductive system to let it do its thing all on its own, a sign of respect and trust if you will. We are so lucky that we can afford to give my body this chance and not get intimidated by the doctors and their insistance that we use fertility drugs, since multiples aren't really what we are trying for here!
So, I will get on a plane with mixed emotions today, but knowing how lucky we are to be doing this in the first place. It will be easier to have a drink with family than having to come up with excuses about why I cannot drink. On that note, since Christmas in Germany (and in the US, for that matter), is not a "dry" matter, we have decided that it would be less stress to have our next try in Jan. rather than rushing to the gyno right after I get back and seeing if we can get an appointment. This way, the holidays will just have their normal stress, which is quite enough, really.
Happy Thanksgiving, all! I know I have so much to be thankful for, especially my family (which will hopefully be bigger soon), and my dear Broom.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Family Fun
The past couple of weeks have been filled with more family time than I am used to, and most of it was a pleasant surprise (or, at least a partial surprise).
My brother is in the Army and I knew he might get sent to the Schland for a class from where he is currently deployed in the Middle East, but I also knew that it quite possibly wouldn't happen either. So, to my surprise, he told me on Thursday that it was looking good, and let me know that he had his ticket on Friday. On Saturday, he called at 7am to say he was in Istanbul.
The Broom and I hopped in the car and drove 3 hours to where he was and we hung out for Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday before we had to drive back (this was the weekend before our birthday- so it was a great present for us to be able to almost spend it together for the first time in over 5 years). This past weekend he was able to drive up to see us and our apartment and the beautiful city we live in.
Yesterday we got to hike through some breathtaking landscapes that are really close to where we live, which reminded us to get out and discover them more. I think most of us have some sort of piece of impressive nature nearby that we often take for granted and forget to explore. We will be doing our best to regularly explore these wonders!
On the flip side, I realized how disconnected from my in-laws I feel. Not only have many of them rejected Broom in multiple ways, but they make no effort to show interest in us or what we are doing. They don't agree with our lifestyle, and haven't learned to express love for us despite that. I told my mother in law how all of this made us feel and how I am not ashamed of anything and that it hurts that she doesn't defend us (along with a list of other things). The sad part is, that she admitted that what I said wouldn't change how she treats us- I just made sure to emphasize again that we will not bring any children we have around people that make them feel less than loved for who they are.
It may still be awhile until we can try again (my Thyroid still isn't where it should be, and they have upped my dosage), but when we can and do get pregnant, I will not having family making our children ashamed for the loving household that brought them into this world. They will have to fight against that early enough, so as long as I can control that influence, I will.
My brother is in the Army and I knew he might get sent to the Schland for a class from where he is currently deployed in the Middle East, but I also knew that it quite possibly wouldn't happen either. So, to my surprise, he told me on Thursday that it was looking good, and let me know that he had his ticket on Friday. On Saturday, he called at 7am to say he was in Istanbul.
The Broom and I hopped in the car and drove 3 hours to where he was and we hung out for Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday before we had to drive back (this was the weekend before our birthday- so it was a great present for us to be able to almost spend it together for the first time in over 5 years). This past weekend he was able to drive up to see us and our apartment and the beautiful city we live in.
Yesterday we got to hike through some breathtaking landscapes that are really close to where we live, which reminded us to get out and discover them more. I think most of us have some sort of piece of impressive nature nearby that we often take for granted and forget to explore. We will be doing our best to regularly explore these wonders!
On the flip side, I realized how disconnected from my in-laws I feel. Not only have many of them rejected Broom in multiple ways, but they make no effort to show interest in us or what we are doing. They don't agree with our lifestyle, and haven't learned to express love for us despite that. I told my mother in law how all of this made us feel and how I am not ashamed of anything and that it hurts that she doesn't defend us (along with a list of other things). The sad part is, that she admitted that what I said wouldn't change how she treats us- I just made sure to emphasize again that we will not bring any children we have around people that make them feel less than loved for who they are.
It may still be awhile until we can try again (my Thyroid still isn't where it should be, and they have upped my dosage), but when we can and do get pregnant, I will not having family making our children ashamed for the loving household that brought them into this world. They will have to fight against that early enough, so as long as I can control that influence, I will.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Back to the Grind
Hey there, virtual (and I suppose, somewhere, real as well) people!
I'm back from by "buscation" and it is good to be home. It really is where the heart is. I often still refer to where I was born and raised to "home", but it isn't really. It is that super-familiar place where you know where the spoons, toilet paper, and junk food are, but still feel like a guest in some aspect.
My business part of my trip went by quickly enough, which helped! Got a lot done in the office and even saw an old dear friend and her family before telling everyone that would listen (and some who would have rather not listened) that I would only be reachable for emergencies and my business email could go fuck itself. It was a great decision!
I got in lots of baby holding time and got to see lots of family. The few friends I still have in and around where I grew up even took off work to see me, which made me feel really special and was great fun. I often have trouble feeling like I don't do enough or relax enough while I am there, or like I don't see enough people- which can make it hard to call it vacation. This time was harder than usual, I missed Broom a lot and really felt out of it although I had a good time.
The reason behind it was clear when I was back in the Schland and had some routine blood work scheduled for right when I got back. Turns out my thyroid is messed up again, which explains by low basal temperature, my anxiety, and generally being off. I've been on meds for hypothyroidism (not enough) for almost 2 years now and they upped my dosage for the baby making.
Now that it is off again, we have decided to wait to try again until it is OK. A hard, but good decision, although I wish I could say I dealt OK with it- but it felt like breaking. I have to reassure myself that it is OK to feel that way and fine to be so emotional about it, especially since my emotions are off right now and will be until my body absorbs the extra medicine which could take two weeks. With this and the lovely cold I brought back from the US of A, I am exhausted and practicing being patient with myself.
Nevertheless, it is good to be home and even better to have Broom to go through this stuff with. I just know she will get a job that isn't shite, and we will get pregnant; but both of those important life steps have their own time lines- and cannot be rushed.
I'm back from by "buscation" and it is good to be home. It really is where the heart is. I often still refer to where I was born and raised to "home", but it isn't really. It is that super-familiar place where you know where the spoons, toilet paper, and junk food are, but still feel like a guest in some aspect.
My business part of my trip went by quickly enough, which helped! Got a lot done in the office and even saw an old dear friend and her family before telling everyone that would listen (and some who would have rather not listened) that I would only be reachable for emergencies and my business email could go fuck itself. It was a great decision!
I got in lots of baby holding time and got to see lots of family. The few friends I still have in and around where I grew up even took off work to see me, which made me feel really special and was great fun. I often have trouble feeling like I don't do enough or relax enough while I am there, or like I don't see enough people- which can make it hard to call it vacation. This time was harder than usual, I missed Broom a lot and really felt out of it although I had a good time.
The reason behind it was clear when I was back in the Schland and had some routine blood work scheduled for right when I got back. Turns out my thyroid is messed up again, which explains by low basal temperature, my anxiety, and generally being off. I've been on meds for hypothyroidism (not enough) for almost 2 years now and they upped my dosage for the baby making.
Now that it is off again, we have decided to wait to try again until it is OK. A hard, but good decision, although I wish I could say I dealt OK with it- but it felt like breaking. I have to reassure myself that it is OK to feel that way and fine to be so emotional about it, especially since my emotions are off right now and will be until my body absorbs the extra medicine which could take two weeks. With this and the lovely cold I brought back from the US of A, I am exhausted and practicing being patient with myself.
Nevertheless, it is good to be home and even better to have Broom to go through this stuff with. I just know she will get a job that isn't shite, and we will get pregnant; but both of those important life steps have their own time lines- and cannot be rushed.
Friday, June 22, 2012
A Short Break
Despite all of the "signs" and feelings I was having, and my period being weird- my temperature tanked and all of the pregnancy tests I took were negative. I was pretty surprised but think that I handled it better than last time.
But, alas, I do know that two tries isn't that much, and look forward to another one in July.
Tomorrow I am flying to the states for a business trip after which I will be going to my hometown state for a few weeks. I am really looking forward to seeing all of my family. There are so many babies and pregnant woman abound that I hope that my emotions don't get the best of me. I find myself with the urge to walk through the baby department just to look at the little clothes. I keep telling myself that that is ok and that it will happen soon.
Enjoy your summertime wherever you are!
But, alas, I do know that two tries isn't that much, and look forward to another one in July.
Tomorrow I am flying to the states for a business trip after which I will be going to my hometown state for a few weeks. I am really looking forward to seeing all of my family. There are so many babies and pregnant woman abound that I hope that my emotions don't get the best of me. I find myself with the urge to walk through the baby department just to look at the little clothes. I keep telling myself that that is ok and that it will happen soon.
Enjoy your summertime wherever you are!
Monday, June 4, 2012
6 More Days!
Until we can test, that is ;)
Our 2nd insem went really, really well. The Dr. was super nice and gave us time for us to rest with my legs up, which certainly helps!
Since then, I've had some cramps and other prego symptoms, but it is so close to PMS symptoms that it is cruel. We will see, I guess! Today my temperature jumped, which is another great sign, but I am trying to remain hesitantly optimistic while reading everything I can get my hands on about this whole process..
Hopefully the next few days will go by quickly :)
Our 2nd insem went really, really well. The Dr. was super nice and gave us time for us to rest with my legs up, which certainly helps!
Since then, I've had some cramps and other prego symptoms, but it is so close to PMS symptoms that it is cruel. We will see, I guess! Today my temperature jumped, which is another great sign, but I am trying to remain hesitantly optimistic while reading everything I can get my hands on about this whole process..
Hopefully the next few days will go by quickly :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)