Monday, August 27, 2012

Family Fun

The past couple of weeks have been filled with more family time than I am used to, and most of it was a pleasant surprise (or, at least a partial surprise).

My brother is in the Army and I knew he might get sent to the Schland for a class from where he is currently deployed in the Middle East, but I also knew that it quite possibly wouldn't happen either. So, to my surprise, he told me on Thursday that it was looking good, and let me know that he had his ticket on Friday. On Saturday, he called at 7am to say he was in Istanbul.

The Broom and I hopped in the car and drove 3 hours to where he was and we hung out for Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday before we had to drive back (this was the weekend before our birthday- so it was a great present for us to be able to almost spend it together for the first time in over 5 years). This past weekend he was able to drive up to see us and our apartment and the beautiful city we live in.

Yesterday we got to hike through some breathtaking landscapes that are really close to where we live, which reminded us to get out and discover them more. I think most of us have some sort of piece of impressive nature nearby that we often take for granted and forget to explore. We will be doing our best to regularly explore these wonders!

On the flip side, I realized how disconnected from my in-laws I feel. Not only have many of them rejected Broom in multiple ways, but they make no effort to show interest in us or what we are doing. They don't agree with our lifestyle, and haven't learned to express love for us despite that. I told my mother in law how all of this made us feel and how I am not ashamed of anything and that it hurts that she doesn't defend us (along with a list of other things). The sad part is, that she admitted that what I said wouldn't change how she treats us- I just made sure to emphasize again that we will not bring any children we have around people that make them feel less than loved for who they are.

It may still be awhile until we can try again (my Thyroid still isn't where it should be, and they have upped my dosage), but when we can and do get pregnant, I will not having family making our children ashamed for the loving household that brought them into this world. They will have to fight against that early enough, so as long as I can control that influence, I will.

Monday, August 13, 2012


Many Germans are all about "looking the part" and appearing to have it all pulled together.
So much so, that those who work as maids will often wear nice clothes on public transportation, change into their work clothes at work, and back into their nice clothes for the bus ride home.

The same is seen in the gym- people come in after work in their work clothes, change into workout clothes, and then put back on their work clothes (If these people always showered in between, I would get it, but many do not since I am at the cheap gym where you have to pay to use the showers.). All because those clothes aren't appropriate for going out.

My in-laws are similar, dressing up to see one another- all the time- and criticizing us if we don't.

I hope I never overrate appearances, because there is so much you just don't see.

The hurt of someone who has just lost a loved family member, the worry of someone rushing off to an interview, the depression of someone struggling with the disease, all of these things can be hidden by looking "normal" or "ordentlich" (orderly). It is so freeing to know that it doesn't matter what appears- you may be a "straight-looking" woman who gets weird looks at bars and clubs when you are with your wife- but YOU know who YOU are and often, appearances don't reflect that.

Right now, I appear to be putting all of my energy into work, but I am holding back in the hopes that the bloodwork they drew today will let me know on Friday that we can begin trying to become pregnant again. And that's where I need my energy.