Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Is Buying Sperm Allowed to be Funny?

My Broom (Let's call her Broom. Bride + Groom = Broom.) and I have started the long and arduous process of buying sperm and finding a doctor's office that will insert said sperm into yours truly.

It sounds simple, but it is not.

There is a complicated law here that leaves a loophole that could mean that the doctor who presses the plunger could be liable for child support.


Yes, despite all of the rights we have here, there are a few (Namely this, and taxes- both still in Steuerklasse 1! No fun!) places where we have diminished or no rights. Insemination costs are also not usually something you can claim on your tax return or have paid for by your health insurance.

So after (mostly) figuring all this out, going to a legal consultation (since we are a binational couple), getting legal insurance, finding a doctor we like, and getting blood and gynocological tests done, we finally made it to a sperm bank.

And it was funny. There was Like sperm "hidden" in paintings. Aaaand, sperm.stuffed.animals. *insert prepubecant giggles here* I didn't even actively have to channel my inner 12 year old!

So, we giggled. To our surprise, the nurse did too! And we picked out the characteristics our donor should have before signing a few papers and leaving.

She made a point to tell us that the sperm stuffed animals were carefully counted. She must have pegged us as a couple that would try and pocket one.

She must already think that we are going to make great parents.

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