Now that Shrimpy is a little over one month old, gaining weight consistently (4000 grams last week!), screaming at her sneezes, grunting at her hiccups, vocalizing and catching our eyes with hers- our stay in the NICU seems so long ago!
It all started in the middle of the night on Sunday the 19th. I was holding her in bed, trying to get her to calm down from crying to feed, when she seemed to have a fit, getting quite upset (it seemed to me), and then falling asleep. Exhausted, I decided to try later and put her in her co-sleeper and slept myself. Surprisingly, she didn't wake up again, and we changed her diaper when we woke up at 8, where she had another fit, then fell into a deep sleep. Broom and I found it odd, but had no idea what was going on, and knew the midwife was going to visit us at 10. While we waited, Shrimpy was too tired to nurse.
When the midwife arrived and I told her about Shrimpy's refusal to nurse (and she had been such a vacuum suction-feeder prior!), she looked concerned and said that she couldn't go that long without eating- and we explained that we couldn't get her to feed. While the midwife was holding her, she had another fit- after which she told us she was going to call the hospital to tell them that we were coming and that she was also writing the admissions desk a letter about her observations- all the while staying quite calm but making clear that we needed to leave immediately.
The 5 minute drive was hell- Broom drove well, though- considering this was her 2nd nerve-wracking drive in a few days, just a week after getting her license. The admissions desk was nice though, getting us into a room really quickly, despite the fact that that nurse was incompetent- failing to realize that we had no clue what was going on, and talking a mile a minute about other things, like weighing Shrimpy daily, taking her temperature and such- and we had no idea whether or not we would be staying! The doctor on call that day was also weird, coming in and picking up Shrimpy without talking to us or introducing herself. Once I realized that she was getting ready to leave the room with her I stopped her with "Excuse me- the nurse said that the doctor would be coming in to examine her?!?". To which she replied "Oh, yes, that's me, I guess I should have introduced myself."
That shift failed to ask us what we saw and why we were there, but did hook her up to sensors measuring her breathing, heart, and oxygen saturation and putting in an IV to rehydrate her. After several requests, I was shown where I could pump, since I wanted to get my milk coming in as soon as possible. Only after we asked did they ask if we were ok giving her formula until my milk came in- of course, giving her anything I could pump first.
During the first shift, she had a few episodes, during which we rang the incompetent nurse- but no one seemed to believe us! Unfortunately, at night, Shrimpy had an episode every hour- and I rang the nurses every time, even though doubt was still there- but eventually, the nurses saw an episode and decided to wake the weird doctor, and explained that it was seizures. At that point, the doctor finally decided to check for head trauma, which came back clear.
In the morning, (Shrimpy had been seizing all night on a regular basis), she had another seizure right when the doctor's had started their rounds- including the head doctors. Luckily, all 7 of them were able to see her have a seizure, and they ordered that she be given meds via IV to stop them. The meds made her even more lethargic, but gave her peace.
In the coming days, a multitude of tests were run to see what could be causing all of this. As a precaution, she received antibiotics since some of the lab work took a while to get back. Each and every test came back negative, and we tried to get as much skin-to-skin time as possible, learning to navigate all of the wires and her incubator like experts. With time, the medical team (who was excellent, with the exception of the team working when we were admitted) came to the conclusion (which could only be made by the process of elimination) that she was having benign infant seizures. My mom did research for me while we were there, and discovered that there are several women in our family that have had the same thing.
They switched Shrimpy to a less harsh drug, even though I still had to wake her to feed- mostly from the bottle, as she didn't have enough energy to feed from the breast. Luckily, my milk came in on Tuesday the 21st, and I had her exclusively on breast milk by Thursday. In that week, they even put us in a normal ward for an evening- but Shrimpy had mild seizures all night that night, and a few where she couldn't breathe. Her longest seizure yet, which happened after a nice bath and feeding from the breast, was one where she turned blue around the mouth, causing me to start screaming like a banshee (something along the lines of "get my baby some fucking oxygen!!!"). Broom took her from me (we always tried to hold or at least touch her during her seizures as a comfort measure) and screamed back at me to get me to calm down.
At that point, we were promptly re-admitted to the NICU, where they spent the next few days trying to get her meds right. Luckily, after being re-admitted to the NICU, she only had 2 more seizures where her breathing was an issue. Two meds, administered twice a day turned out to be the right combination for her. Her last seizure was the 26th, and within a week of them keeping her meds steady, she developed a regular wake/sleep pattern, although we still keep an eye on her.
After being home a week, the midwife and I worked on getting me off of the medical grade breast pump (I had too much milk) and purely using Shrimpy's cues- and it worked! In about a month, she has another EEG to see if her brain is still seizing. If not, then we will wean her off of her medication. A week after that, she has an echo cardiogram to see if the normal, newborn "heart hole" that hadn't closed for her yet (the midwife said that she has seen this with babies who have been under stress) is now closed.
Her two weeks in the NICU were some of the hardest of my life- and I don't think I have ever cried that much- ever. Watching her small body be in so much pain (after some of the seizures, she would whimper- talk about breaking your heart!) and not be able to do anything about it was extremely difficult. I would have gladly switched places with her ten times over- but we couldn't. She is such a strong girl! And Broom and I were thrown into the deep end of the parenting pool- and realized, that if we could do this, we were gonna be fine. Our relationship seems to have grown even deeper through that family trauma, and we were able to alternate who was the strong one, while keeping our spirits up when we could. We kept an eye on one another, and after I had spent 4 nights in the hospital with Shrimpy, Broom convinced me that we needed to alternate so that I didn't lose my shit. It was a good call.
Despite everything, I am grateful for the following: that, if our little girl has to have a sickness, that it is one that doesn't leave any damage (and if it does turn out to be epilepsy, that is manageable, too!), for a health care system that is excellent (all of her care is at no cost to us), for a relationship as strong as ours, and for family and friends the world over! We asked for positive thoughts and prayers and wow- were they given. I really, truly believe that they helped, and am so glad that we all got showered with that positivity. Our Shrimpy has quite the fan club- as she should, since she is incredibly adorable!
Once this is even more behind us, I will be even more at ease- but it is pretty neat how my brain has been able to regularly forget and not worry all the time- even though we both keep a close eye on her.
All in all, we are a very lucky family.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
A Shrimp is Born!
Wow, what a difference a month makes. I feel like I have aged 10 years since my last post. It will take two posts to cover everything that has happened since, but I will start with Shrimpy's birth story and then post about the two weeks we spent in the NICU (so glad to be home now!). Both posts are bound to be quite long...
The prodromal contractions that I had been having continued and I lost more of my mucous plug in the little over a week that passed between my last post and labor. They were still manageable, and my spirits were high, although I did start drinking raspberry leaf tea as well as verbena tea, as recommended by my midwife. All of my visits confirmed that everything was fine, and that we were in no rush to meet baby. Since I was ready, I kept on with the tea, and tried to stay well-rested.
On the night of the 16th, I decided to put the theory of eating eggplant parmesan (with plenty of oregano and basil) to the test. The food turned out great, and I was lying on the couch watching the news when my water broke after a mild contraction at 20:10. It felt like a small "pop" and I said to Broom "I think my water just broke!". I stood up, had a small gush, and went to the restroom, where I lost more clear water (as described by the midwife, it looked like mozzarella water. We got excited, and checked our bags for later and decided to try and get some sleep after letting my family know that we could use their positive energy.
The contractions were 20 minutes apart and only mildly more painful than the contractions that I had been having for the past 3 weeks, and they stayed like that for three hours or so. I was able to rest some, but then the contractions got more intense and were 15 minutes apart, so I went to the couch where I turned on Tim McGraw (his music always helped me sleep while flying) and dozed in between them while timing them the best I could.
At about one in the morning, my timing made me notice that the contractions were coming every 5 minutes- a pattern that I observed for 45 minutes before waking up Broom, after which I woke her to have her support. She applied counter pressure on my back and helped me breathe in the living room, where I had set myself up. They were intense and required all of my concentration, but the pain was instantly gone after the contraction was over. Broom and I decided to call the midwife at 2:30 to let her know that my contractions were still 5 minutes apart, and she thought we could still be a long ways out. I talked to her on the phone and realized I was dealing quite well and found talking to her to be quite distracting, and to wait to go to the birthing center.
After talking to her, I decided I wanted to try and take a bath. The first few contractions in the tub were fine. Suddenly, they got much more intense, and my whole body, each and every particle from my head to my toes, convulsed and drew together, automatically pushing the baby without me actively doing anything. This felt wrong. I had just had ok contractions, and now my body was pushing?!? Something had to be wrong, and I knew, that if this was early labor, that I couldn't do it.
Instinctively, I put my hand between my legs when these contractions came, but I seriously doubted that this could be what I thought it was. In between the pushing contractions, I kept thinking to myself- it would make sense if this was transition...and then I threw up, which really had me thinking- "could I already be there?!?".
After throwing up, I had to get out of the tub. I laid down on the bed and continued to have the pushing contractions, every 2-3 minutes.
At about 3:15, Broom called the midwife again, who heard my guttural, growly contraction and told us that she was leaving for the birthing center and would call us once she confirmed that the room was free. Broom got stuff ready while I tried tipping my chin back and panting to hold back the pushing contractions that were so intense and heavy. I told Broom, "This sounds crazy, but I think the baby is coming, I swear I can feel the head."
About 15 minutes later, the midwife called back and told us we could come any time we were ready. Broom somehow got me dressed, holding me up through the contractions. In the car, I braced myself in the back so that I wasn't sitting down, so convinced I was that the head was right there. I gave Broom directions (who had only gotten her driver's license a week beforehand), who was understandably nervous- so I didn't tell her how I felt like the head was there- that, and I was in disbelief.
Once she parked, I went to get the parking ticket, where I had such a strong pushing contraction, that I was starting to believe what I was feeling. On our 2 minute walk to the birthing center from our parking spot, I had two more contractions, one of which on the few steps down to the birthing apartment.
The midwife proceeded to ask me if she should fill the birthing pool or check me. I told her "You better check me- it sounds crazy, but I think the baby is right there". She asked me to sit down, but I refused, stating that I didn't want to sit on the baby. Broom and the midwife helped me get my pants off, and she took a look, stating: "Yes, the baby is right there, reach down and touch it's head." After doing so, I realized that I could, indeed, trust my body. She told me to kneel at the end of the bed, bending my body over the bed itself (since the kneeling pad wasn't there yet, I asked "But you are going to put something down, right?"), of course pulling out the birthing pad and something sterile for the baby to be collected on underneath me.
After kneeling, I had another pushing contraction, letting my body do all of the work, and immediately felt the "ring of fire". Another pushing contraction came, and the head was out! The body followed immediately afterwards...two minutes after entering the birthing center, and the midwife just barely had enough time to put on gloves!
I looked down, and couldn't believe that my baby was already here! I picked up baby and crawled into the bed. After expressing concern about keeping baby low enough to let the umbilical cord pulse out, the midwife let me know that it was already pulsed out and I had some skin to skin time with baby while the midwife gave the umbilical cord a gentle tug. Out came the placenta without any problems.
It was only at this point that we asked if it was a boy or a girl, at which the midwife told me to look.With my first glance down before crawling into bed with baby, I thought we had a boy- but I was wrong! We had a little girl! After seeing that surprise, baby and I were able to nurse for awhile, with the midwife checking on me and determining, despite the fact that our Shrimpy came out with her hand on top of her head, that I had no tears, only a few scrapes. Baby weighed in at 3250 grams and 49cm long and had perfect APGAR scores. Since she had spent such little time in the birth canal, her head wasn't deformed at all, and her cheeks were really filled out- making her look older than she was. Surprisingly, she also had quite a bit of hair!
After feeding, it was time to attempt my first trip to the bathroom in order to empty my bladder and encourage my uterus to contract further. My midwife and I made it to the bathroom, but while on the toilet, I passed a large blood clot and passed out- waking up on the floor. After Broom helped me to bed, the midwife gave me a catheter to empty my bladder, and continued to give me sugary drinks. However, she stated that if I didn't come around with my dizziness within 30 minutes that she would have to transfer me to the hospital for a transfusion. Luckily, this wasn't necessary, and we were allowed to stay in the birthing center room longer than usual after the birth so that I could rest and regain my strength.
It was a truly amazing experience, feeling the power that my body possesses, and finally meeting the little girl that made us parents! A part of me wonders how long her birth would have been had I not fought the pushing contractions- but either way- 8 hours from water breaking to holding a baby is pretty amazingly intense for a first child!
These wonderful moments would keep us going once our Shrimpy got sick a day and a half later....which will be another long blog post itself.
The prodromal contractions that I had been having continued and I lost more of my mucous plug in the little over a week that passed between my last post and labor. They were still manageable, and my spirits were high, although I did start drinking raspberry leaf tea as well as verbena tea, as recommended by my midwife. All of my visits confirmed that everything was fine, and that we were in no rush to meet baby. Since I was ready, I kept on with the tea, and tried to stay well-rested.
On the night of the 16th, I decided to put the theory of eating eggplant parmesan (with plenty of oregano and basil) to the test. The food turned out great, and I was lying on the couch watching the news when my water broke after a mild contraction at 20:10. It felt like a small "pop" and I said to Broom "I think my water just broke!". I stood up, had a small gush, and went to the restroom, where I lost more clear water (as described by the midwife, it looked like mozzarella water. We got excited, and checked our bags for later and decided to try and get some sleep after letting my family know that we could use their positive energy.
The contractions were 20 minutes apart and only mildly more painful than the contractions that I had been having for the past 3 weeks, and they stayed like that for three hours or so. I was able to rest some, but then the contractions got more intense and were 15 minutes apart, so I went to the couch where I turned on Tim McGraw (his music always helped me sleep while flying) and dozed in between them while timing them the best I could.
At about one in the morning, my timing made me notice that the contractions were coming every 5 minutes- a pattern that I observed for 45 minutes before waking up Broom, after which I woke her to have her support. She applied counter pressure on my back and helped me breathe in the living room, where I had set myself up. They were intense and required all of my concentration, but the pain was instantly gone after the contraction was over. Broom and I decided to call the midwife at 2:30 to let her know that my contractions were still 5 minutes apart, and she thought we could still be a long ways out. I talked to her on the phone and realized I was dealing quite well and found talking to her to be quite distracting, and to wait to go to the birthing center.
After talking to her, I decided I wanted to try and take a bath. The first few contractions in the tub were fine. Suddenly, they got much more intense, and my whole body, each and every particle from my head to my toes, convulsed and drew together, automatically pushing the baby without me actively doing anything. This felt wrong. I had just had ok contractions, and now my body was pushing?!? Something had to be wrong, and I knew, that if this was early labor, that I couldn't do it.
Instinctively, I put my hand between my legs when these contractions came, but I seriously doubted that this could be what I thought it was. In between the pushing contractions, I kept thinking to myself- it would make sense if this was transition...and then I threw up, which really had me thinking- "could I already be there?!?".
After throwing up, I had to get out of the tub. I laid down on the bed and continued to have the pushing contractions, every 2-3 minutes.
At about 3:15, Broom called the midwife again, who heard my guttural, growly contraction and told us that she was leaving for the birthing center and would call us once she confirmed that the room was free. Broom got stuff ready while I tried tipping my chin back and panting to hold back the pushing contractions that were so intense and heavy. I told Broom, "This sounds crazy, but I think the baby is coming, I swear I can feel the head."
About 15 minutes later, the midwife called back and told us we could come any time we were ready. Broom somehow got me dressed, holding me up through the contractions. In the car, I braced myself in the back so that I wasn't sitting down, so convinced I was that the head was right there. I gave Broom directions (who had only gotten her driver's license a week beforehand), who was understandably nervous- so I didn't tell her how I felt like the head was there- that, and I was in disbelief.
Once she parked, I went to get the parking ticket, where I had such a strong pushing contraction, that I was starting to believe what I was feeling. On our 2 minute walk to the birthing center from our parking spot, I had two more contractions, one of which on the few steps down to the birthing apartment.
The midwife proceeded to ask me if she should fill the birthing pool or check me. I told her "You better check me- it sounds crazy, but I think the baby is right there". She asked me to sit down, but I refused, stating that I didn't want to sit on the baby. Broom and the midwife helped me get my pants off, and she took a look, stating: "Yes, the baby is right there, reach down and touch it's head." After doing so, I realized that I could, indeed, trust my body. She told me to kneel at the end of the bed, bending my body over the bed itself (since the kneeling pad wasn't there yet, I asked "But you are going to put something down, right?"), of course pulling out the birthing pad and something sterile for the baby to be collected on underneath me.
After kneeling, I had another pushing contraction, letting my body do all of the work, and immediately felt the "ring of fire". Another pushing contraction came, and the head was out! The body followed immediately afterwards...two minutes after entering the birthing center, and the midwife just barely had enough time to put on gloves!
I looked down, and couldn't believe that my baby was already here! I picked up baby and crawled into the bed. After expressing concern about keeping baby low enough to let the umbilical cord pulse out, the midwife let me know that it was already pulsed out and I had some skin to skin time with baby while the midwife gave the umbilical cord a gentle tug. Out came the placenta without any problems.
It was only at this point that we asked if it was a boy or a girl, at which the midwife told me to look.With my first glance down before crawling into bed with baby, I thought we had a boy- but I was wrong! We had a little girl! After seeing that surprise, baby and I were able to nurse for awhile, with the midwife checking on me and determining, despite the fact that our Shrimpy came out with her hand on top of her head, that I had no tears, only a few scrapes. Baby weighed in at 3250 grams and 49cm long and had perfect APGAR scores. Since she had spent such little time in the birth canal, her head wasn't deformed at all, and her cheeks were really filled out- making her look older than she was. Surprisingly, she also had quite a bit of hair!
After feeding, it was time to attempt my first trip to the bathroom in order to empty my bladder and encourage my uterus to contract further. My midwife and I made it to the bathroom, but while on the toilet, I passed a large blood clot and passed out- waking up on the floor. After Broom helped me to bed, the midwife gave me a catheter to empty my bladder, and continued to give me sugary drinks. However, she stated that if I didn't come around with my dizziness within 30 minutes that she would have to transfer me to the hospital for a transfusion. Luckily, this wasn't necessary, and we were allowed to stay in the birthing center room longer than usual after the birth so that I could rest and regain my strength.
It was a truly amazing experience, feeling the power that my body possesses, and finally meeting the little girl that made us parents! A part of me wonders how long her birth would have been had I not fought the pushing contractions- but either way- 8 hours from water breaking to holding a baby is pretty amazingly intense for a first child!
These wonderful moments would keep us going once our Shrimpy got sick a day and a half later....which will be another long blog post itself.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Patience and trust
We made it to 39 weeks! And it seems just like yesterday that I got that positive on the digital pregnancy test...
Now the hard part is trusting that my body and my baby know exactly what they are doing. I've had a constant, deep back pain for over 2 weeks now, and prodromal labor about every other day since the 30th. I wondered if I would be grateful that my period cramps were always so bad, and I really am! What good training.
Most of the prodromal contractions are manageable, and when I have them, about 5-10 a day are such that I have to breathe through them or that they wake me up. They can drive you a little crazy, leading you to wonder "Is this real? This is more than the Braxton-Hicks contractions, but they aren't consistent! Am I dreaming this?". Once so far I have cried about it, since I get excited that labor could be starting, and then it goes away after awhile.
Whatever they are, it involves my back and abdomen and wrap all the way around. I am grateful that I am able to either get a fair amount of sleep at night or take epic naps during the day. The full surrender to this process that this requires and trusting the knowledge that my baby and body have is certainly a test of patience (not entirely dissimilar to the conception process).
One thing that I keep trying to tell myself is that these contractions aren't "for nothing". Shrimpy is gradually getting even more into starting position and I am surely effacing more and more. I've had bloody show and seen parts of my mucous plug, and I somehow managed to glimpse the first few drops of colostrum while changing. When I think about it, it is great that things are getting along gradually without me being too uncomfortable. A part of me isn't even that surprised, considering everything that it took for us to get here and the enjoyment that I've had growing this child. Emotionally and physically it is for sure the best route for us if labor isn't over too quickly.
So, I am embracing this gradual separation process and am giving myself over to the process of Shrimpy and I becoming separate entities. The inner knowledge and strength that my body has already exhibited confirms many things for me, and that is an amazingly wonderful and womanly experience for me!
Now the hard part is trusting that my body and my baby know exactly what they are doing. I've had a constant, deep back pain for over 2 weeks now, and prodromal labor about every other day since the 30th. I wondered if I would be grateful that my period cramps were always so bad, and I really am! What good training.
Most of the prodromal contractions are manageable, and when I have them, about 5-10 a day are such that I have to breathe through them or that they wake me up. They can drive you a little crazy, leading you to wonder "Is this real? This is more than the Braxton-Hicks contractions, but they aren't consistent! Am I dreaming this?". Once so far I have cried about it, since I get excited that labor could be starting, and then it goes away after awhile.
Whatever they are, it involves my back and abdomen and wrap all the way around. I am grateful that I am able to either get a fair amount of sleep at night or take epic naps during the day. The full surrender to this process that this requires and trusting the knowledge that my baby and body have is certainly a test of patience (not entirely dissimilar to the conception process).
One thing that I keep trying to tell myself is that these contractions aren't "for nothing". Shrimpy is gradually getting even more into starting position and I am surely effacing more and more. I've had bloody show and seen parts of my mucous plug, and I somehow managed to glimpse the first few drops of colostrum while changing. When I think about it, it is great that things are getting along gradually without me being too uncomfortable. A part of me isn't even that surprised, considering everything that it took for us to get here and the enjoyment that I've had growing this child. Emotionally and physically it is for sure the best route for us if labor isn't over too quickly.
So, I am embracing this gradual separation process and am giving myself over to the process of Shrimpy and I becoming separate entities. The inner knowledge and strength that my body has already exhibited confirms many things for me, and that is an amazingly wonderful and womanly experience for me!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Almost time for baby
The last month has been delightfully calm- that is, after my gyno attempted to put me on limited physical activity. With this whole split prenatal care between my gyno and my midwives, it has been interesting to see how modern medicine (in my opinion) attempts to take all the risk and responsibility and "minimize" it (which isn't really possible, anyway). The idea of questioning the reasoning behind some prescriptions and requests for care seems novel for some doctors, and we had to get rather insistent that I did not want to take antibiotics for a small, very common infection so close to birth and that I did not want to have fetal heart tones recorded every 2 weeks for 30 minutes at a time. After we got through all that, I was able to breathe more deeply and relax, which has been just what I needed!
Now, we only have to wait until midnight on the 1st to be able to have Shrimpy at the birthing center, due to their new insurance for 2014 (otherwise, the clock would have started this week at 37 weeks and not at 38). Since I had some bloody show on Friday and have been having irregular contractions and shooting vag pain when walking, I have been taking it easy in the hopes of Shrimpy not starting the show earlier. I have been feeling pretty good, though, and being sure to nap during the day since sleeping can be hard between the hip & back pain and going to the bathroom so much.
I never thought that being off for so long before baby gets here would go by so quickly, but I have been really enjoying it! I've been teaching myself how to crochet, doing sewing projects and crafts, as well as reading and cooking. Broom and I have been doing our best to enjoy the calm before all of the changes, although we are both getting eager to meet baby! I have been able to talk to my mom more since I've been off (due to the time difference), and she has been really supportive, which is lovely. My homesickness tends to flair up around the holidays, and this year was no different, but it is what it is (Although we are seriously thinking about making a 5-year plan to move to Canada.).
Christmas with die Mutti was OK, although she is easier to deal with when I have had wine, lol. At least she only stayed 1 night, and then Broom and I could relax after she left. We have already taken down the decorations to have that out of the way in case baby comes, and are really looking forward to a quiet New Year's.
Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment, and I expect it to be pretty uneventful. I figure I will go on longer walks starting on the 1st and see when my baby and my body are ready for birth.
2013 was a great year, but we are both really looking forward to meeting this little one!
Now, we only have to wait until midnight on the 1st to be able to have Shrimpy at the birthing center, due to their new insurance for 2014 (otherwise, the clock would have started this week at 37 weeks and not at 38). Since I had some bloody show on Friday and have been having irregular contractions and shooting vag pain when walking, I have been taking it easy in the hopes of Shrimpy not starting the show earlier. I have been feeling pretty good, though, and being sure to nap during the day since sleeping can be hard between the hip & back pain and going to the bathroom so much.
I never thought that being off for so long before baby gets here would go by so quickly, but I have been really enjoying it! I've been teaching myself how to crochet, doing sewing projects and crafts, as well as reading and cooking. Broom and I have been doing our best to enjoy the calm before all of the changes, although we are both getting eager to meet baby! I have been able to talk to my mom more since I've been off (due to the time difference), and she has been really supportive, which is lovely. My homesickness tends to flair up around the holidays, and this year was no different, but it is what it is (Although we are seriously thinking about making a 5-year plan to move to Canada.).
Christmas with die Mutti was OK, although she is easier to deal with when I have had wine, lol. At least she only stayed 1 night, and then Broom and I could relax after she left. We have already taken down the decorations to have that out of the way in case baby comes, and are really looking forward to a quiet New Year's.
Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment, and I expect it to be pretty uneventful. I figure I will go on longer walks starting on the 1st and see when my baby and my body are ready for birth.
2013 was a great year, but we are both really looking forward to meeting this little one!
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
And then I had my last day at work for a year...
...Germany has a lot of interesting programs, including awesome parental leave. I saved two weeks of my (cough, 30 days) of vacation to take before the almost mandatory off-time for moms 6 weeks before the due date, and 8 weeks after. After this time ends, there is a somewhat-complicated program where the parents can take time off. I am taking 12 months, and Broom is taking 2. We still get between 65 and 67% of our previous salaries, which makes this feasible. Exciting and weird to be off for so long, although I am proud to say that I didn't have a problem leaving work behind.
The first week off, I had doctor's appointments and then we went away to the Baltic Sea for 4 nights, which was loverly. Daily walks on the beach and bubble baths were just the thing! I do notice though, that baby is in "start" position with his or her head already quite low in my pelvis. The daily movement has been good though.
Currently, I am working on sewing cloth baby wipes and burp cloths (my MIL is dating a laundromat owner, so we had waaay too many towels, so I cut them up based on our needs and am just finishing the edges). Other projects I want to do are: a blanket / duvet for the stroller, a collage out of cloth for Shrimpy's room, and a cover for the changing table extender we are making.
Feeling like things are coming together, but will feel better once everything is as in order as it can be (including the mountains of paperwork we are going to have to do since we don't have all rights and the whole bi national issue, *sigh*).
From the health perspective, it looks like the gestational diabetes thing really was just a fluke. I still have to test sporadically for the next 2-3 weeks, but everything has been fine. My gyno thought I might have a UTI, but didn't say anything since I brought in morning urine, so I would guess that things are fine there. She just said last time that she wants to use the fetal heartbeat monitor every two weeks starting next week, and I was too much in a tizzy to ask why, so I am going to do so and am thinking of declining since baby doesn't like being monitored. Also, she now seems worried about the polyp-y thing on my cervix, although she already said it shouldn't pose any problems for birth. She talked about sending me to a specialist/asking a colleague for advice.
Needless to say, this was one of those visits where I got overwhelmed and didn't ask enough questions here, so I wrote them down for next time. As far as I am concerned, as long as my cervix can still open, I am still planning to go to the birthing house (and the midwives are super-calm). If she is concerned about it being cancerous, then she should swab it for testing, and we can deal with the results after Shrimpy is here if we have to. I told my mom about me being a little worried that that was what she was getting at, and she waved it away (surprise!), so we will see.
I will probably run everything past my midwife before my gyno appointment and go from there.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating tomorrow!
The first week off, I had doctor's appointments and then we went away to the Baltic Sea for 4 nights, which was loverly. Daily walks on the beach and bubble baths were just the thing! I do notice though, that baby is in "start" position with his or her head already quite low in my pelvis. The daily movement has been good though.
Currently, I am working on sewing cloth baby wipes and burp cloths (my MIL is dating a laundromat owner, so we had waaay too many towels, so I cut them up based on our needs and am just finishing the edges). Other projects I want to do are: a blanket / duvet for the stroller, a collage out of cloth for Shrimpy's room, and a cover for the changing table extender we are making.
Feeling like things are coming together, but will feel better once everything is as in order as it can be (including the mountains of paperwork we are going to have to do since we don't have all rights and the whole bi national issue, *sigh*).
From the health perspective, it looks like the gestational diabetes thing really was just a fluke. I still have to test sporadically for the next 2-3 weeks, but everything has been fine. My gyno thought I might have a UTI, but didn't say anything since I brought in morning urine, so I would guess that things are fine there. She just said last time that she wants to use the fetal heartbeat monitor every two weeks starting next week, and I was too much in a tizzy to ask why, so I am going to do so and am thinking of declining since baby doesn't like being monitored. Also, she now seems worried about the polyp-y thing on my cervix, although she already said it shouldn't pose any problems for birth. She talked about sending me to a specialist/asking a colleague for advice.
Needless to say, this was one of those visits where I got overwhelmed and didn't ask enough questions here, so I wrote them down for next time. As far as I am concerned, as long as my cervix can still open, I am still planning to go to the birthing house (and the midwives are super-calm). If she is concerned about it being cancerous, then she should swab it for testing, and we can deal with the results after Shrimpy is here if we have to. I told my mom about me being a little worried that that was what she was getting at, and she waved it away (surprise!), so we will see.
I will probably run everything past my midwife before my gyno appointment and go from there.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Could be worse, could be better
Things are shaping up in Shrimpy's room, and once we buy a mattress and a car seat/stroller combo, we will have everything on our "must have" list of items! Sure, there is plenty that I would like to have by the time baby is here, but once these "musts" are out of the way, I think I will breathe much easier.
Last weekend, Broom's brother and nephew were here and helped by installing and securing everything that we had in that regard, and it was really nice to get so much done in such a short amount of time even though I was really exhausted for 2 days afterwards. Their generosity and how quickly they did everthing is amazing and wonderful!
On the health front, my first diabetes test was messed up by the lab, which meant I had to do another one. The 2nd one was positive, so I had to do a follow-up test that is longer and involved me looking like an addict afterwards since the incredibly nice nurse had trouble finding my veins. The last of the 3 blood draws that they did ended up being positive, so now, I am automatically labeled as a gestational diabetic.
The midwife didn't seem that concerned when I told her that the first one was positive, so I didn't think to ask what would happen if the 2nd one was positive. My gyno said that it is standard that gestational diabetics give birth in a clinic, although she didn't say it wasn't allowed. At our ultrasound today, Shrimpy was completely healthy and everything was normal- nothing was bigger, which is a common side effect. I am getting sent to an organ scan to make sure that the baby isn't under stress, so I am hoping that between that and the fact that since I got the glucometer yesterday that everything has been normal with my sugar, that my gyno and midwife will let me have the baby outside of the hospital in the birthing house.
I know that only time will tell, and that the main goal here is for me and the baby to be healthy, but I would prefer to have the baby in the birthing house if it is ok from a health perspective. Once I have a week of OK values, I am hoping that I am off the hook. The test itself I find to be a bit one-sided since the diabetes doctor said that 1 high number could have been from stress.
Today, I also brought up that I have had spotting 3 times since Friday, and 2 of those times were not combined with any strenuous activity whatsoever. It turns out the irritated spot on my cervix that I had has grown considerably and it causing occasional bleeding. For the next 11 days, I will take 2 different types of vaginal suppositories (one to calm it down, followed by one to improve the flora and fauna) to hopefully clear it up and then we will see. Once I am through with the suppositories, I am supposed to call if I have any bleeding.
Due to me cutting out all extra sugar, I have also lost some weight, but baby is a great size, that is good!
We will see how things develop, and if I get the whole pricking my finger down so that it works (with enough blood for the sensor) every time. I will do whatever I have to do for this little one, but I am sure hoping for my desired way of giving birth- but only time will tell- baby is calling all of the shots!
I am still doing well in trusting my body and my baby as well as not taking this whole being able to have a baby thing for granted, which is helping me a lot.
Last weekend, Broom's brother and nephew were here and helped by installing and securing everything that we had in that regard, and it was really nice to get so much done in such a short amount of time even though I was really exhausted for 2 days afterwards. Their generosity and how quickly they did everthing is amazing and wonderful!
On the health front, my first diabetes test was messed up by the lab, which meant I had to do another one. The 2nd one was positive, so I had to do a follow-up test that is longer and involved me looking like an addict afterwards since the incredibly nice nurse had trouble finding my veins. The last of the 3 blood draws that they did ended up being positive, so now, I am automatically labeled as a gestational diabetic.
The midwife didn't seem that concerned when I told her that the first one was positive, so I didn't think to ask what would happen if the 2nd one was positive. My gyno said that it is standard that gestational diabetics give birth in a clinic, although she didn't say it wasn't allowed. At our ultrasound today, Shrimpy was completely healthy and everything was normal- nothing was bigger, which is a common side effect. I am getting sent to an organ scan to make sure that the baby isn't under stress, so I am hoping that between that and the fact that since I got the glucometer yesterday that everything has been normal with my sugar, that my gyno and midwife will let me have the baby outside of the hospital in the birthing house.
I know that only time will tell, and that the main goal here is for me and the baby to be healthy, but I would prefer to have the baby in the birthing house if it is ok from a health perspective. Once I have a week of OK values, I am hoping that I am off the hook. The test itself I find to be a bit one-sided since the diabetes doctor said that 1 high number could have been from stress.
Today, I also brought up that I have had spotting 3 times since Friday, and 2 of those times were not combined with any strenuous activity whatsoever. It turns out the irritated spot on my cervix that I had has grown considerably and it causing occasional bleeding. For the next 11 days, I will take 2 different types of vaginal suppositories (one to calm it down, followed by one to improve the flora and fauna) to hopefully clear it up and then we will see. Once I am through with the suppositories, I am supposed to call if I have any bleeding.
Due to me cutting out all extra sugar, I have also lost some weight, but baby is a great size, that is good!
We will see how things develop, and if I get the whole pricking my finger down so that it works (with enough blood for the sensor) every time. I will do whatever I have to do for this little one, but I am sure hoping for my desired way of giving birth- but only time will tell- baby is calling all of the shots!
I am still doing well in trusting my body and my baby as well as not taking this whole being able to have a baby thing for granted, which is helping me a lot.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Tempus Fugit
I am so thoroughly in the moment and enjoying being pregnant, that every time I think of blogging, I think that it hasn't been "that long" and then I see that another month has flown by.
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
Sure, there are some moments that aren't as enjoyable as others, but of course I am going to be uncomfortable sometimes- I am growing a person who I am carrying around in my womb. I have been trying to walk a fair amount, do prenatal videos from YouTube, and go to the gym to help with stiffness, etc. that is bound to only get worse :)
It can be hard to get motivated (and I haven't been denying myself naps, either), but once I do, I know it is what I needed.
On the preparation front, my sister and sister and law are organizing an alternative American baby shower. Since shipping costs and custom fees would make gift giving more difficult and possibly quite expensive for all, we are going to do a Facebook group with a limited Amazon Baby Registry (things where we would be glad to pay the customs fees- mostly cloth diapering supplies- since some brands are just really hard to get here) for those who would like to send a gift, and otherwise encourage people to give my mom a check for my American bank account. That money will offset what I wire monthly for my school loans and enable us to buy things for Shrimpy. In the group I can post pictures of what we have purchased and "attendees" can guess when Shrimpy will come, gender, size, weight, etc. and winners will get a gift in the mail.
I know that such a baby shower isn't common here, but my family really wants to do one, and I am really lucky and grateful for that! This month, we will be organizing things for my brother in law to help us install- anchors for book shelves, mounting a mirror that we had just leaned in the hallway, shelves for some plants in the living room, etc.
Sometimes, I have to fight the instinctual urge to "have it all done, right now!", but rationally (which I haven't been all the time- but luckily, my mood swings have just been mostly weepy-fits), I know we have time.
I just can't wait to have everything ready, then I can spend the time that I am off work before the baby is born to make the finishing touches and to step up my meditation. I feel pretty zen about my mental preparation for labor, and feel like we have excellent care. As long as everything goes normally, I will be giving birth in a cozy apartment set up just for labor with women I respect and trust. Our relationships are building with each appointment, and I am confident that our baby and my body know exactly what to do and the fact that our midwives trust that as well is part of the reason we chose to have an out-of-hospital birth.
Less than a month and a half before maternity leave starts!
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